


An Appropriate Language

by the_mythologist



Series: Batboys in Love [1]
Category: DCU
Genre: Batboy love fest, Batman would not approve, Dick overthinks everything, Jason swears a lot, M/M, Questionable but very sexy decisions, So does Barbara but she is less impressed, Tim gets an education, explicit sexual content in later chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 05:01:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3597285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_mythologist/pseuds/the_mythologist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick and Jason finally learn to communicate, and Tim gets an education.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jason

**Author's Note:**

> Set in a vaguely Elseworldish mashup of pre and post New 52, where Tim and Jason get along pretty well to just about everyone (else) in the Batfamily's detriment. 
> 
> Or...maybe just Dick's detriment. For now.

There were nights when Jason knew he should have just stayed home. Most nights, no matter how bad it got, he could rationalize and make the argument that at worst he should have just rigged the building and let it go up in a satisfyingly powerful explosion. Tonight, however, was a step beyond that: for tonight was the night Poison Ivy got out of Arkham, Daddy Bats was in Trinidad with Stephanie and Cassandra, and Babs and the Demon Child were inexplicably and simultaneously laid low by the flu that had swept through Gotham. This left Dickface and the Replacement to patrol the city, and while Jason would normally have taken full advantage of this (Replacement was sort of calming once you got past the fact that he was Jason’s goddamn replacement, and Dick always had a blind spot a mile wide for him, on account of all his suppressed rage and Jason’s ability to bring it shooting up to the surface) but once again, Poison Ivy was on the loose. And, as fate would have it, directly in Jason’s path.

Jason stumbled onto the scene when it was already half over. Team Bat’s plan as far as he could tell was this: use Dickling as bait, and when Ivy got close enough to rub toxin all over his face, Replacement would take her down with one of his fancy, modified bat toys. It would have worked perfectly had Ivy been a little less generous with her man-zombies; as it was Jason had to step in when it looked as if Replacement was getting overwhelmed.

(He only had to shoot three. And really, two were leg shots, totally survivable. The last was probably going to bleed out, but as none of Ivy’s zombies ever reached sentience again, he was fully convinced he was doing the guy a favor.)

That left Replacement open to trap Ivy with a nifty electrified bat net, and enforce her compliance with a grainy, beige powder that Replacement claimed would reach her plants’ roots in mere minutes, killing her ‘babies’ before Ivy could use them against them. Faced with such a threat the smoking hot redhead backed down, and Jason whistled low in appreciation. Replacement had his moments, even if Jason would die (again) before he admitted that.

It was right about then when the evening went to shit.

Replacement had turned around, giving Jason that look he was pretty sure he’d made up just for him - one part exasperation, one part sardonic amusement, one part disappointment, and one part quickly stifled relief. It was like the kid’s face didn’t know how to deal with him, and Jason was glad he stuck with the simple and straightforward, and also wore a big red helmet.

Replacement spoke through the com in Lithuanian, the one language he and Jason spoke passably that Dick did not. _“I won’t ask you to wait for cops - I know better. But could you get Dick to roof? He is liability, like this.”_

Jason glanced over at Dick, noting that he was bent nearly double, breathing heavily and clutching his knees with a white-knuckled grip. Well, now. Dickwad had administered the antidote several minutes ago, and he was still struggling? Ivy must have upped her game. A year ago, Jason would have laughed and went on his merry way, figuring it was charitable enough that he didn’t let Ivy loose and have her toxic way with Dick and/or Replacement. Yet tonight, as it was the night to end all bad decisions, he did something quite different.

“ _Yeah, sure. You owe me though. And not A’s waffles.”_

Replacement’s smile was fleeting, just the barest hint that he remembered that conversation. Jason didn’t stick around to see what the Replacement’s face got up to next. Figuring it was like ripping off a bandaid - faster done, faster he could get gone, already - he pulled Dickery over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes - he’d wished he could have said tossed, but damn the man was heavy - and aimed his grapple gun for an adjacent building. The gun would hold the weight of both of them, he was pretty sure. He’d tested it out with Roy _and_ Kori one day, which had been fun and educational, in more ways than one.

Roy was a seriously flexible man, he would give him that…

Dickles shivered as the flew, nearly jolting himself off of Jason’s shoulder. The angle was awkward - even though he wasn’t outright protesting, he was doing his damndest to wriggle his way out of this situation. Jason grit his teeth behind the hood. Sure, sure, he and the Dickmaster didn’t get along all that well, but he was doing the loser a solid. His forbearance of the Replacement did not extend to the Wonder Boy and with the last of his patience he announced this.

“Settle the fuck down, Nightwing. I’ll put you down as soon as I haul your ass onto the roof-”

It was a thankful thing that Jason had just vaulted securely onto the roof as Dick suddenly stopped squirming and cut him off with an almighty squeeze. As Jason tottered towards the center of the roof, Dick twisted around him like he was a frigging monkey bar and suddenly Jason found himself face to face with his old partner. Dickiebird’s pupils were blown wide, leaving only a sliver of blue around the rims. There was just enough time to manage an internal _oh fucking hell_ before Dick’s momentum carried them both back into the side of the emergency staircase partition, and Jason slid down to his ass.

His head thunked against the cement, hard enough for him to take assessment, but not hard enough to really damage anything. Yet it gave Dick the tiny opening he needed - his fingers slid to his jaw and worked the catch, more surely than a person high on Ivy’s sex pollen should be able to do. The antidote _was_ working then, but not well enough - a dangerous combination when one had a lapful of Nightwing.

Jason caught the helmet by the top, keeping it planted firmly on his head. Dickery whined, and caught himself from rubbing his cheek along the smooth surface of the helmet in a mockery of a caress.

“C’mon, Jay. I hate that stupid helmet. Wanna’ see your face - it’s been so _long.”_

Jason growled. There were a lot of reasons why he hated his older brother figure, but sex pollen had never up until now been one of them. It was simple luck of the draw. Back when he had been Robin, Jason had been sex pollened, sure, and he had witnessed Bruce as well. And a couple months ago he’d seen the Demon Child suffer from some mild sex pollen intake as well, although he’d had enough antidote to cure himself before he could come on to anyone. But he’d never seen Dick like this, never ever wanted to, and now it was happening directly on top of him.

This was the point when Jason knew with all certainty that he should have just fucking stayed home.

“You see me all the goddamn time, Nightwing. And the helmet keeps me alive and pretty, so quit your complaining.”

Dickarina squirmed and adjusted himself so that he was straddling him. Obscene man. Jason leaned back and breathed deeply, thinking very hard about how much he hated him, and not how fucking flexible and masculine and strong the man was. The last thing he needed right now was to discover that his body’s natural attraction to him was stronger than his anger. Jesus. If that were the case, he’d rather switch places with Replacement.

“Take off your helmet and I will. I just wanna’ see. C’mon, Jay. Please?” Now he really did rub his cheek against the hood, and Jason leaned as far as he could to the side without toppling them both over. Yet his squirming couldn’t dislodge Dick’s face or his fingers, which had begun tracing little drunken patterns against chest. Even through the kevlar, it felt like Dick’s fingers were burning like a brand, and unthinkingly he brought one of his hands down to make him quit.

“Got you!” Dick grabbed his hand and went for the other one, and in the resulting scuffle managed to shift the helmet off one ear. He then began twisting like a fucking fish, and it was all Jason could do to hold him still. The helmet was knocked completely off in the process, but all Jason could think of was how manipulative Dick was, and what happened if he turned this onto Replacement? The younger Robin was trusting as hell, especially if he didn’t immediately think the worst of the Red Hood, for chrissakes. Dick would seduce the kid in a heartbeat, especially if the kid had seen him administer the antidote. And Jason, no matter his faults, would never be party to rape.

Finally he managed to get a firm grip on Dick’s hips, keeping him securely in place. The position was terrible. Dick straddled him, held in place but in perfect position to lean forward and nuzzle his neck; hands free to roam all over his chest and shoulders, and even his face. Thank frigging _God_ he still wore a domino. This was all far too intimate anyway, but it would have been unbearable had he not had at least that.

“See? So much better now. I can _see_ you.” Dick breathed in deeply, resting his nose at the juncture of Jason’s neck and shoulder. Jason struggled against his arousal, thinking of Bruce’s cold disapproval and what a rapist would do in this situation. He could not suppress his little shudder, however, and groaned when he felt Dick smile against his skin.

“Stop it, Nightwing. You’ve been sex pollened. Think about it. Do you have any more antidote?” Jason had antidote, but Dickton was oh so helpfully sitting on it. To get it he’d have to reach between them and that was maybe not the slightest move right now. He’d have to just sit tight and wait for Replacement. Where _was_ he, anyway? Ivy hadn’t gotten loose, had she?

Dick shook his head from side to side, and the slide of his hair against his cheek made Jason’s thighs tighten. “No, no, Little Wing. Not pollened anymore. I already took the antidote.”

“Ok, sure. Yeah. Then why the fuck are you trying to cuddle with me?” Jason kept his voice low and acerbic, knowing that tone pissed Dick off like nothing else. He seemed to have misjudged, however, by the way Dick shifted against him, bringing the bodies even closer together. He rolled his hips and Jason was suddenly very aware of the length and width of Dick’s cock, trapped between them.

His mouth went dry, and he forgot what Bruce’s disapproval looked like. Fuck this. Fuck all this sideways, and then fuck it some more.

“Maybe it’s ‘cuz you’re so goddamned hot, Jaybird. Making me forget myself.” Dick shifted his face and suddenly he was mouthing Jason’s neck, focusing on a single spot that set all of Jason’s nerves to tingling.

His fingers clenched at Dick’s hips. Shit on a stick. He was going to have nightmares about this for weeks. _Months._ He may have to leave Gotham entirely. “You’re full of shit, Nightwing. You don’t even like guys.”

He shrugged without taking his mouth away, and it was single most goddamn sexual shrug Jason had ever seen. No one else could shrug like that. _Sex pollen,_ he reminded himself. _Sex pollen, and when he’s not actively seducing me, this fucker is the most annoying being on the planet._

“Not usually. But you’re pretty hard to look away from.” Dick giggled and then sucked hard, making Jason draw in a deep breath. It cleared his head for a blessed moment and now he could hear it - the sound of boots crossing the pavement. Replacement had taken his sweet fucking time, and was being stealthy about it too.

Still, it was better than nothing. hoping that Replacement had sussed out the situation Jason played along one more time. “So is Oracle listening in? ‘Cuz that would be all kinds of awkward, don’t you think?” Jason could see Red Robin now, with something that looked a little like an EpiPen in his hand. Thank fucking god. He averted his eyes to meet Dick’s as he pulled back, and shifted his left hand so that Replacement would have a clear shot at Dick’s thigh.

Dick smiled sultrily, and Jason swallowed. “If she is, she’s about to get an education.” He leaned in and brushed his nose against Jason’s. “I want-”

What Dickles wanted was never explored. He suddenly collapsed forward, head thunking against the wall behind them before coming to rest on Jason’s shoulder. Behind him, Replacement shrugged apologetically, if a little awkwardly.

“Sorry. I’m all out of antidote, so I figured it would be best to knock him out.”

Jason immediately shoved the unconscious hero off of his lap and onto his back. He pulled his legs up as he reached for his helmet to hide the last lingering traces of his erection. “Thank fucking god. Took your time, squirt.”

Replacement’s gaze was sharp, and not for the first time Jason wished the kid was just a little less observant. “Yeah, I had to drive Ivy to Arkham myself. Sorry about... _him.”_

Now that the hood was back on and his body all sorted out again, Jason stood. He shrugged, feigning indifference. It certainly wasn’t the kid’s fault that Dick had jumped him and been a little too convincing in doing so. Yet Replacement stood there watching him, a cautious expression on his face. Oh. Did that mean he was worried for him or something? Feeling a bit too much like an older brother right then, he put a hand on Replacement’s shoulder. When the kid didn’t even tense Jason bit his lip. Yeah, the kid was way too trusting. He’d be like putty in Dick’s hands...

There was a lot he probably should say, but he didn’t. Just squeezed his hand for a moment - kid could take it however he wanted, but it was his way of saying _good job now fuck off -_ and then took off across the rooftop, readying his grapple gun for the first launch.

The night was young, but Jason was going home. Gotham’s crime would still be here tomorrow, and unless every building on the block suddenly went up in flames, he was leaving it to Replacement.

Jason Todd knew well the signs of a universe intent on fucking with him, and he got the hint, thank you very much.

…

…

…

…

…

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jason’s favorite word is the one I have used 15 times in this segment alone. Hint: there’s certainly more of that where that came from.


	2. Dick

 It took two weeks for Bruce and Tim to fully determine that Ivy had _not_ perfected a new strand of sex pollen; she had simply given Dick a triple dose. This was both a good and bad thing to learn. For one, it explained why the double antidote he had taken did not work, leaving him to writhe erotically on the lap of his little brother. On the other hand, he had _writhed erotically on the lap of his little brother._ Worst of all Dick couldn’t quite forget the way Jason had felt and tasted and smelled, and now he may now have to kill himself.

He held his position on the pommel horse - feet in the air, arms protesting at the strain of holding his entire body aloft - for a moment longer. Maybe he didn’t need to kill himself, per se. Maybe he could head back to Bludhaven for the foreseeable future, or even go back to France and hang out with Bilal for awhile. Hell, he was willing to replace Cass in Trinidad. As long as he went somewhere that made it hard to think of Jason, he was willing.

“I always think your arms will snap like that. I should know better, but it still weirds me out a little.”

In the meantime he could just talk to Timothy. “Hey Timmy.” He turned himself around so that he faced his younger brother. “How’re things?”

Tim raised a single eyebrow. “Fine. Just fine. I...I did wonder if you had a moment.”

Tim wanted to talk? Maybe Tim needed his help! The thought of helping him chased away his gloom, and he vaulted off the pommel horse, sticking a perfect landing. “Of course, Timmy! Anything for my baby bird.” He refrained from hugging him, but only because he was very sweaty, and Tim was in casual wear. He looked like he might be going out, actually. A wide smile split Dick’s face. “You look nice. Are you going out? _On a date?”_

Tim winced. “No, no. I’m just meeting up with Jason. Anyway-”

 _Jason._ Jason, with his big hands, broad shoulders, and mocking grin. Tim would look so small and slender next to him, nearly feminine displayed against Jason’s obvious masculinity. Dick tensed and all the memories he repressed shuddered behind his mental partitions. His distress made his reply more bitter than he would have liked. “ _What?_ The two of you talk _?_ Hang out? _”_

Tim’s calculating glance was exactly like Bruce’s. “We’re meeting up for lunch to discuss the best way to handle the escalating drug war down at the docks. What I wanted to tell you was that I’ll be bringing back some of the baklava that Damian refused to admit that he likes. If at all possible, I’d like you to eat some with him, and let me know if he says anything positive. I have fifty dollars riding on this, Dick. This is important.”

Dick’s head spun. Tim was going on about baklava, of all things, and _Dami_ but the important part was that he was meeting Jason for lunch to talk about a mission. All of this was a joke. It had to be. Just in case it wasn’t, though… “Wait wait wait. You guys are taking a mission together? Since when are you and Jason close enough for _that_?”

Tim shrugged his messenger bag higher onto his shoulder, and very carefully kept from looking at Dick. “We’ve worked together on a few smaller missions in the past, and I think that if I approach this the right way, we can end the conflict without resorting to his usual methods. I won’t say that with absolute certainty, but I am pretty sure that I calm him down a little. At least, that’s what Arsenal and Starfire said.”

 _Tim had met with Kori and Roy?_ They had _talked_ to him? Dick’s mind was positively spinning now, yet Jason remained dead and center. “ _What?”_

Tim looked over at him, no longer calculating but worried. “Dick, what’s wrong? I thought you wanted us to get along better with Jason? I mean, I know he’s got his moments and he’s really rough around the edges, but he’s still our brother. And a good guy. I mean, I think he’s a good guy. He definitely _could_ be. And lately I think he’s been doing a lot better. Even with…” He trailed off, glancing over at him suggestively. “Oh. This isn’t about what happened with Ivy, is it?”

A wave of somatic memory washed through him. Jason’s voice, so low and deep when he had talked about cuddling, and the erection he could feel beneath him, no matter how hard Jason tried to will it away. Yes. Yes, all Dick’s weirdness over the past two weeks could be laid at Ivy’s door, but it was more so his fault for touching Jason like that. “I - well...”

Tim shook his head. “Dick, you’ve got to let go of that, already. I know that you and Jason have a difficult history, but sex is pollen is sex pollen. We’ve all been hit by it, and no one bears any grudges over it. Jason certainly doesn’t care. He-”

“How do you know that?” The words flew out of Dick’s mouth, hard and angry. “How can you possibly - it was disgusting, Tim. I was all over my little _brother_ , and you think he can’t care? He hated me before this, and now...now…” _The taste of Jason’s neck, like sweat and eucalyptus soap and his goddamned helmet -_ “No. He cares. No matter how laid back he acts, Jason’s disgusted. I’m disgusted. It was _terrible.”_

Tim watched him with carefully as he picked his next words. “Because you hate each other? Or because he’s our brother?”

“Yes -no - both! All of it!”

“Not because you’re both men?”

Dick hesitated. There was something in Tim’s voice when he said that… He backtracked like mad. “No, there’s...There’s nothing wrong with liking guys, Timmy. If that’s what you’re...I mean, Jason and I are both straight; _that’s_ not the reason I’m upset about this. Well maybe a little, because I feel like I up and molested him. But no, being gay is _fine._ So just...if _you_ happen to like guys, I’ll be a little surprised, sure, but I will totally support you, and…” He trailed off at Tim’s chuckle. “What. _What?”_

Tim grinned. “Calm down, Dick. I just got out of a relationship with Steph, remember? I will keep your support in mind, however. Maybe I’ll pass it along to Jason as well.”

Jason _again._ He hadn’t driven Dick this crazy since the time he took the Batbike out for a spin and crashed the damn thing, or the time he had very nearly scooped Dick’s 25 year old date for the evening, the night he turned 14. _14._ He shook away the memory. “ _Why_ would you give my support to Jason?”

They were at the front door now, and Tim glanced back before strategically placing himself on the other side of the door. “Well I don’t think he’s too keen about telling the rest of the family about his bisexuality...but maybe if he knew you’d support him he might be a little less secretive about it. I’ll mention it to him, see what he says. Thanks Dick!”

Tim was a fast little bird when he needed to be. He was halfway down the driveway before Dick had the door open, and Dick was far too shocked to chase him the way he’d need to if he wanted to stop him. Bisexual? Jason liked _men?_ Jason, who flirted with women nearly as much as he did? Jason, who displayed an inexplicable confidence and kindness towards them that he’d never been able to replicate with men? Jason, who’d been his hormonal, teenage Robin and had never so much as _looked_ at a guy when they’d patrolled?

No, Tim had to be fucking with him. He’d mentioned a bet earlier on Dami...he had to have one on Dick, too. This was all some sort of joke, probably started by Jason. There was no way. There was _no way…_

Yet Jason had been hard underneath him, and there was no sex pollen to blame it on. He had shivered when Dick had given him a love bite, and the bruises he had left on Dick’s hips had only just faded away. Even if he hated Dick, there might possibly have been a small part of Jason that had enjoyed it. Sexually. Begrudgingly. Still.

Dick shifted back from the open door, gently closing it. He tried to think logically. What did it change if Jason wasn’t as straight as he thought? Not too much, really. It probably didn’t affect him. He was still straight, even if he still couldn’t quite figure out how to forget their little...interlude. No, he was fine. Totally fine. The most fine. But could that be said for the rest of the family?

Tim, for instance. _.._ Now that he knew Jason might actually be looking, Dick suddenly felt nervous about his interest in Tim. Tim was a good looking kid - they all were, but Tim was a touch prettier than the rest of them. And Dick had already thought about how striking they would look together. Oh god, had that been his brain’s subconscious way of warning him about leaving his two brothers together? Had he been right about the date after all?

Just like that, his mental barriers fell down. All he could think about were images of Tim and Jason together. There were so many ways for them to fall. So many opportunities for a nighttime spar to become something a little more intimate, and for a game of rooftop tag to take on a distinctly sexual edge. Now that they were meeting as civilians the options multiplied exponentially - Jason had safehouse upon safehouse to take Tim back to, and years worth of sexual experience to bolster his natural bravado and charm. Tim was confident and brilliant but young and inexperienced, and Jason was ever a conqueror. Dick’s breath came fast and harsh as he could practically see it - Jason shifting up to take Tim’s mouth and cover his cries, hips rocking up to split Tim open; or perhaps Tim would be bolder than he knew and ride Jason in the same position Dick himself had mimicked; or maybe Jason would take him from behind, shoulder muscles cording as he leaned over Tim to stroke him to his own release-

Dick smacked himself on the face with both palms. The pain cleared his head, even if it also made him feel a bit like crying. This panic was making him stupid. He needed to take a deep breath, hold it, and then calm down. Even though Jason and Tim got along a lot better he’d known - and he had to take another moment to fight down the inane jealousy the idea sparked - that didn’t mean they were interested in each other. Tim was obviously straight; all this worrying was likely for nothing. If anything, this was probably a good thing. Jason probably saw Tim as his little brother, even though he denied family ties to everyone else. That had to be the reason why Tim calmed him down, and why they were able to work surprisingly well together. It likely had nothing to do with how repressed and adorable Tim could be, and how dangerous and sexy Jason was.

Right?

_Right?_

…

…

…

…

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit shorter than the last chapter, so a faster update. This story is pretty much completed, so updates will be pretty regular - just need to edit and let it settle and buy myself some time to make some headway on the second part of the series.  
> Next up - All Jason wanted was to cook dinner. The universe and Nightwing have other plans.


	3. Jason

Some days were longer than others, Jason reflected as he tossed his civilian coat on to the table, keys skittering beside it. Especially when coming off of three straight days of all night patrols. Yet it was going to pay off, he could feel it. Working with Replacement was still a little new and different but the kid was smart and versatile, and had the best handle on all the exciting uses of the bat toys. He also had the least beef with Jason these days, and apparently was the only one of them who could bury the hatchet. So yeah, working with Red Robin seemed to be an unexpectedly decent move, career-wise.

Lunch had been kind of a weird experience though. Kid had a bottomless stomach - that Jason could understand - but he could have lived without Replacement’s near constant smirk. _Especially_ when the part of their plan that centered around the gentleman’s establishment came up. Man, he _knew_ should never have let the kid meet Kori and Roy - somehow the little twit had charmed his teammates, and the next thing he knew the three of them had gotten gazeboed and out Roy came with all of Jason’s (known) sexual exploits. The kid had certainly gotten an education that night, although Jason made sure he dragged him off home before Kori and Roy gave him a more hands on learning tutorial.

Now, even though Jason was all that had stood between the kid and his first polyamorous experience, the kid was hellbent on teasing him about his open sexuality. Clearly there was no justice in the universe, although to be fair, he knew that already.

Least he wasn’t teasing him about that _thing_ with Dick. He’d stayed off the channel for over a week after that, unwilling to take the slightest shit about... _that_. He’d only relented a few days ago, when he’d awoken to Babs screaming in his ear - having hacked Outlaw frequencies again, freakin’ Oracle - about manning up and getting his job done and if he minded so damn much, he could just rejoin the family and lodge a formal complaint. Totally not an option, of course, but he’d thawed out enough to respond to Replacement’s messages in order to plan the next stage of their little project. The docks were a cesspool at best and a explosion lined gauntlet at worst, and Jason took great pride in being a catalyst. Replacement had grand illusions about getting him to calm down the killing, and while it was adorable, it was also futile. Killing was simply the most effective way to rid the city of its trash, and that Jason was currently playing along with the no kill rule meant nothing. He was just taking a break from rocking the boat, was all. It wasn’t like he actually listened to Replacement when he went on about rules and lines and how there were certain things you couldn’t come back from. Nor had he listened to Dick, for that matter-

_Maybe it’s ‘cuz you’re so goddamned hot, Jaybird. Making me forget myself._

Jason had excellent echoic recall, and his memory provided the perfect tone and nuance of Dick’s voice. He hissed at the suddenness of it, and the sweep of desire throughout his body. God _damn_ he was sick of this. Two fucking weeks and he was still remembering Dick at all the worst times. He had gone most of his natural life without noticing Dick _that_ way, and he was ready to get right the fuck back on that, thank you very much, ‘cuz if he had one more nightmare or sexual fantasy about Richard fucking Grayson, he was going after the man with a crowbar.

Might do that anyway, now that he thought about it. Especially if it would wipe that trusting look off of Replacement’s face.

Jason sighed as he puttered around the kitchen, glancing through the fridge to see what he’d left behind in this particular safe house. Mostly non-spoilables, although he’d remembered to pick up a small carton of milk before heading back. Maybe pasta then, or if this was the place he’d left the frozen meatballs, spaghetti.

He cooked on autopilot, enjoying the mindlessness of it. He’d been cooking for himself since he was a kid one step away from the streets, and his mother had taught him to be creative with portions and flavorings. He’d learned more travelling the world and training under All Caste. Now that he thought of it, he remembered making spaghetti for Alfred once, back when he was 13 or 14. He’d made the meatballs too, packing the ground beef with the spices he remembered his mother using, and coating the pan with the remainder. Alfred had arched an eyebrow after the first tentative bite, surprised that the end result was a step up from simply palatable. _It’s very good, Master Jason. My compliments to the Chef._

Jason had beamed with pride then, still honest enough to show his happiness. Yet then Dick had bounded in, all glib smiles and sparkling eyes, and scooped up a heaping forkful. He had gulped it down in one go, causing both Jason and Alfred to look on with disbelief. _Hey, it’s kind of different this time - I like it! Trying out a new recipe, Alf?_

Alfred had looked to Jason, ready to pass on the credit but Jason couldn’t take it. In that moment Dick was just too _much_. All that light and life and energy, and Jason was barely able to keep afloat, most days. So he had turned and walked out, for once not wanting to make a ruckus but to run away from one.

Dick had always been too much. Too different, too good, too _something_ for Jason to relate to. At least _now_ things made sense: among all other things, Dick was stupidly attractive. Jason knew this better than most because he’d spent all the years he’d known him steadfastly ignoring this. Yet now his eyes had been forced open and Dick was impossible to unsee.

Jason grimaced as he stirred the noodles. He was going to have to do _something_ , because the last thing he needed was for anyone to get wind of this. Crushes were stupid and destructive, not to mention all manner of disturbing when fostered on pseudo family members. He’d just have to meet someone new and pretty, someone distracting enough to get his mind off of weird, impossible things. Like Dick. And the way he had nuzzled into his neck, or dazed him with that stupid eskimo kiss, or-

The alarms went off moments before the window was forcibly hiked upwards, and Jason had only a moment to switch off the stove, and grab the gun he kept stashed underneath the kitchen sink. Spinning, he trained it on the invader who had just swung in through the now opened window-

Upon realizing who it was, Jason swore and aimed four inches to the left. Enough to show he wasn’t going to shoot him, but not far enough to be taken advantage of. “Jesus, Nightwing! If you’re going to drop in for dinner, you might as well ring the doorbell like a normal person.”

Dick’s glare was evident even through his domino. He was fully outfitted in Nightwing costume, down to the dual escrima tucked into the holsters on his belt. It made Jason take a step back, plotting escape routes. It was way too early for patrol - twilight had barely fallen - yet to show up in costume in what he had thought was an unknown safehouse? Well, either there was a vigilante ball that Nightwing was here to personally invite him to, or shit was about to go down.

Jason thumbed the safety as he admitted it was probably the latter option. “So? What can I do you for, Nightwing?”

It wasn’t until the words left his mouth that he realized what he actually said. Damn, he was an idiot. And he was really hoping that Dick didn’t hit that softball right out of the park, with something like ‘wow, that was Freudian,’ or-

“What the _hell_ are you doing with Tim?”

Well, now. It seemed as if Dick was playing an entirely different game. One that made zero sense to Jason. “I’m sorry?”

“ _Should you be?”_ Dick’s voice had gone low and soft, nothing like his usual tones, or even the Batvoice that they’d all practiced, even the baby bat. It was new to Jason yet one that he took pretty seriously.

“No? Look, if this is in reference to the mission, the kid is walking into this with eyes wide open. He’s not even the one that’s going...head to head with greasy mobsters! If anything, _he_ should be apologizing to _me_ , because I have standards, and that type of man does not measure up. And if this is about taking video evidence for Babs, I can assure you that he will not be watching it a second time because as soon as she’s done with it, I am burning it. With sticks of dynamite. Babs has already given her permission.” He was running his mouth a little, and it was largely to gauge Nightwing’s reaction. Yet it was also a little bit in response to how fucking predatory Dick looked, with his eyes narrowed and his stance that dangerous. Sparring with him was always good. So fucking good. In hindsight, Jason probably should have figured out his attraction a little sooner, with how worth it it had always been for Nightwing and Red Hood to face off.

Sweet Christ. If this was his life, he needed to get out of Gotham.

Dick shook his head and reached for an escrima. Jason twitched the gun and his hand fell away. “No I’m - no. This is about _Tim._ What are you doing with _him?”_

Now Jason was really confused. “Not a whole hell of a lot other than that, Dick. Mind telling me what’s got your panties in a bunch? He was in good fucking mood when he headed home…”

Dick tensed. His entire body suddenly went still, and it was the eeriest moment of the altercation. “You put him in a good mood, huh?” His head tipped to the side and he smiled a creepy, vacant smile. “I _see.”_

Later, Jason would rationalize that he’d been distracted by the smile. He’d never seen Dick that unhinged before, and that was the only excuse he could possibly give for Dick shooting across the floor and getting his hand on his wrist before Jason could fire the gun. At the time, however, it felt like a slap across the face.

Dick shoved his arm out and down, and Jason dropped the gun rather than risk a hole in the floor. At the same time he brought his knee up into Dick’s midsection, taking a dark satisfaction in Dick’s grunt of pain. Yet Dick seemed to have learned from their interlude on the rooftop two weeks ago, and had discovered a new, inexplicably effective technique: wrapping himself around Jason like a goddamned limpet. It wouldn’t have been as annoying if it didn’t trap Jason’s arms to his body. Step two involved tilting them precariously until Jason lost his balance and fell to the floor. The only flaw in Dick’s plan was that it was executed in the kitchen, and in his scrabbling attempt to stay upright Jason was able to palm a paring knife.

All he needed was an opening. Then he could stick Dickie like a pig, get the hell out of here, track Replacement down and find out _what the hell was going on._

Dick, in his new role as the craziest hero in Gotham, carried on like their awkward tackle was an everyday occurrence, and he wasn’t pinning Jason down against the cold linoleum floor _for no goddamn reason at all_. “So, Jason. Share with me: what _exactly_ did you do to put Tim in such a _good mood_?”

Belatedly, the neurons began firing in his brain, making the connection way too late. “Wait a minute. Dick, _no_. I didn’t-”

Dick continued, talking right over him. “‘Cuz no matter how good you are, Little Wing, it’s not worth it. You’re going to fucking break his heart the same way you broke mine and Bruce’s, and I am not letting you hurt anyone else in this family. It was bad enough when _I_ lost you, so I can’t imagine how much worse it would be to lose you as a _lover._ It would kill him, Jason. So please. _Please._ Just leave him alone. Find someone else. _Anyone_ else.”

Dick had started off dark and menacing, but by the end he was practically shaking. Jason let his head fall back to the floor, watching Dick’s expression waver from angry, to determined, to lost and back again. Jason could relate. At the moment he didn’t know which way was up, and it was all Dick’s fault.

“So let me get this straight. You came here and attacked me in my kitchen because you think I’m fucking Replacement.”

Anger sparked in Dick’s eyes. “Aren’t you? And fuck, Jason. Can’t you call him by his name? Is _that_ seriously what you call him when you-”

“Yeah, that’s enough.” Jason cut him off by lunging forward, smashing their foreheads together. Dick reared back, although he didn’t let go. The momentum was enough for Jason to roll them over, however, and with a concentrated effort, break free of Dick’s grip. Now it was Jason’s turn to be the aggressor - although Dick fought harder than he’d like. He lost the paring knife in the struggle, yet it ended with him on top, hands holding Dick’s wrists down, and leaning back so that their hips were flush, making sure he had Dick securely pinned. “Ah ah ahhh. Gotta’ be a good boy now, Dickie. Or at least a logical one. Now it’s my turn for twenty questions. Starting with this: can I smack you for being so wrong?”

Dick’s glare wavered, and it was all he needed to keep going.

“Silence is consent, and I’m taking you up on that later. Question two: what prompted you to think that Replacement and I were fuc- _sexually involved_? My bet is on massive head trauma, but your noggin looks as hard as ever.”

When Dick didn’t answer right away he leaned in closer, pretending to examine Dick’s face. “Your eyes look normal - no outward trace of mind altering substance - some magical compulsion perhaps? Damn, I hate magic. Ok, who did I piss off this time? If they’re sending _you_ after me, they probably know our actual identities, yeah?”

“I’m serious, Jay.”

Three words, and they were enough to make Jason pause. Beneath all the chatter and the flair, Dick was a horrible liar. Realization slipped through Jason like a hot drink on a cold night: Dick actually believed he and Replacement were fucking.

Holy god _damn._

And Dick had stormed over here to protect Replacement’s honor? What was he, the big bad wolf? He should be furious. He knew this like he knew that his way of life was the right one, and that there was nothing anyone could do to ever make him stop. But Dick was looking up at him with those stupid blue eyes, so much deeper and darker than Replacement’s, and that thing he had said about the imagined pain of losing him as a lover was running through his brain on repeat. It made him feel as if he were set adrift in the middle of his kitchen, and that the next move he made - no matter what it was - would be the wrong one.

He had to stall, figure out what the hell was wrong with him, or at the very least a plan. “Why would you think _that_?”

Dick must have finally got a clue, as the righteous anger had leached out of his face, leaving an uncharacteristic hesitance behind. His eyes searched Jason’s bare face with feverish intensity. “I...Tim said you guys were working together, and I just...I mean, he mentioned that you were bi...I mean, it’s not just _that_ it was the whole _situation_ and you’d get it if you were there…”

Oh. _Oh no,_ he was pretty surehe got it now. “So this is about me being bisexual, huh? You figured I’d just jump the first pretty boy I saw, _huh?”_

“No, but Tim-”

“He’s my brother you dipshit! So what if I like men? Being bisexual doesn’t make me fucking _brothersexual_ you fucking asshole-”

“You were hard for me!”

That made Jason pause although his mouth never stopped even when his brain did. “That’s different.”

Dick raised his eyebrow until it hit the edge of his domino. “Oh? Why, ‘cuz we’re not really family?”

“No, but-” Shit. Shit fucking _shit._ “I- _Yes_. You and me are _not_ family you fucker. None of us are _really_ it’s all just a sad little Bat delusion-”

It was all good - the perfect touch of bratty vehemence and anger - but it was way too late. His first reaction had been to inadvertently affirm their family ties and Dick had seen that. Dick also recognized the moment of weakness and he bucked up into Jason, nearly forcing the man over. For a moment they scuffled, Dick writhing like a dolphin and Jason trying to tip the damn table onto him, and but it ended as most wrestling matches with Dick inevitably did. The man was the closest thing to a contortionist Jason had ever met and within two minutes he had managed to wrap himself around Jason again, dodging Jason’s attempts to bite and headbutt him again.

“So why is it different, Little Wing? Why can you be hard for me but not for Tim?” Dick’s voice was low and directly next to his ear, and only the remembrance of Dick’s mouth on _his_ neck kept him from biting the man there himself. His voice was also capable, Jason now learned, of turning the switch in his brain from _end him now_ to _fuck him through the wall._ It was part of why sparring was so good with him - besides the enjoyable physical aspects and challenge of it, of course. Dick could always switch from one thing to another with barely a warning in between, and Jason was a creature of chaos and instability. He was also dizzyingly aware of Dick when they were this close, and unless he did something drastic, his cock was going to do it for him.

It was a puzzle. How did one get Dick Grayson of their lap and out of their lives? Besides shooting him, which even though Jason hated him more than ever, he found he was extraordinarily reluctant to do. Clearly fighting, insulting, and disparaging words about Replacement and or/the Batfamily weren’t going to do it either - Jason had to assume that whatever worked in the past wouldn’t work now that Dick had gone completely bonkers, and Jason’s body had up and betrayed him.

There was one thing, however...It would be a tricky maneuver, but if he played it just right it would gain him a small window of opportunity to shove Dick off of him and escape. He just had to sell it, which seemed like kind of a tall order but it really shouldn’t - not when it was the goddamned humiliating truth.

“ _Jay?”_

Dick’s lips were practically on his ear. A small jolt of interest shot to his cock, and the truth suddenly became way easier to admit. He would just have to play it off as a joke later, and murder Timothy fucking Drake.

His tone was flat and quiet, and his words cut through the kitchen. “It’s different because I want you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up - Jason and Dick lose their minds, and maybe something else too. 
> 
>  
> 
> Due to a much belated change in my work status, I suddenly have a lot of time to write. Reap the benefits, friends. Updates for everyone!


	4. Dick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's maybe not so safe for work. And by "maybe" I mean here's some explicit foreplay, amen.

 

 

Dick wasn’t sure what he had expected, but it certainly wasn’t that. In truth, the whole evening was kind of a blur, since he gave in to his mounting jeal- brotherly protectiveness and had broken into three of Jason’s safe houses before finally finding the one he was actually in. Things had only gotten more confusing from there. Jason was cooking and looked ridiculously attractive doing so. He also seemed to have no fucking idea that he was playing games with Tim’s heart. Dick’s evening bottomed out as it became apparent that maybe Jason wasn’t playing games with Tim’s heart at all, and he had just up and attacked him. Not that Jason didn’t deserve it, or anything. But still. It was almost enough to make him feel guilty, except for the overwhelming relief that overtook him at Jason’s not being sexually interested in Tim.

The relief was what made Dick take things a step too far. He had crowded him, practically straddling him the way he’d done on the rooftop, pushing for a reason. His mind had gone a little swimmy and he’d needed to know - why him? Why him and not Timmy, with his big blue eyes, sleek frame, and the impressive ability to get along with Jason Todd? He figured he knew what the answer would be. Under the influence of the sex pollen Dick had come onto him like a Vegas showgirl, and Tim would never display such promiscuity. But if that _were_ the reason, perhaps there was still a little room for anxiety? Tim could learn that sort of behavior, after all. If it was something inherent to Dick, he could rest easy.

_Oh, sure. ‘Cuz then he’d be admitting he wants_ you _, you incestuous twat!_

He hadn’t thought Jason would actually _say_ it. Jason never admitted _anything_ like that. But then he _had_ and all Dick could think of was _he’s lying. He couldn’t possibly. I’d have_ known.

_Make him prove it._

He had pulled back for a moment to gauge the expression on Jason’s face, but he had been as still as stone, watching Dick back with his glass green eyes. The moment stretched, and suddenly Dick was hyper aware of their position - arms entangled, legs pressed firmly together...hell, even the very air between them seemed intimate. It was just like on the rooftop, except for Dick wasn’t sex pollened this time, and there was absolutely no excusing this reckless impulse to lean in and kiss Jason’s mouth.

He didn’t even like men. He _didn’t._ Yet something about the curve of Jason’s upper lip and width of his shoulders under Dick’s hands made him forget all about that, and slowly Dick leaned in.

He stopped when he could feel little puffs of air against his own mouth, and his eyes slid to the jumping pulse at Jason’s throat. He waited for Jason to call the bluff, to shove him off and stalk off. Never mind that he was wrapped around him so tightly Jason could barely wiggle a finger - Jason could stop him with a single cutting word. It would be easy. All he’d have to do was call him brother.

Yet there was a heartbeat of perfect silence, and then there was another one. Dick’s mind was swirling, and all he could make sense of was this: Jason had his chance to say no. He hadn’t because he (apparently) wanted him. Most importantly this was the closest Jason had allowed him to get since he’d come back from the dead, and Dick’s own tumultuous feelings about him aside, he found he didn’t want to let go of him. So he leaned forward that last quarter inch and gently brushed his mouth against Jason’s, tracing his upper lip with his.

That first, hesitant kiss was one of the most singular moments of Dick’s life. It moved so slowly and in painful, beautiful increments: Jason’s reciprocal gesture as he tugged gently on Dick’s lower lip; the gradual increase in pressure and depth; pulling back slightly and starting it all again. It took several minutes for them to reach a recognizable threshold of normalcy. So much of it was tentative exploration, and the feeling that something, somewhere would go wrong immediately and end this fragile moment. Yet finally Jason opened his mouth to Dick’s and with a low groan, Dick fell into him.

Now it was a kiss proper, and Dick had plenty of experience with that. Yet while the technique remained the same, there was something fundamentally different about kissing _Jason._ There was a lot more power behind this kiss, in the strength of his jaw and the slide of his nose against his, and the faint stubble that rasped at the edges of the kiss. This was disregarding the personality behind it - Dick hadn’t thought about how Jason would kiss until he was surprised at the dedication in it. It was confident, as was everything Jason did, but there was also a quiet desperation in it, as if this was Jason’s one chance to prove himself. He had died in a chance like that, Dick realized. That thought undid him.

He sank into the kiss, releasing Jason’s arms so that he could bring his hands to his face. Distantly, he realized his error. If he had miscalculated, this would be the moment Jason took back his freedom. Yet he had read the kiss better than he knew and Jason’s only movement was to settle his arms around Dick, pressing them closer together. Here was the proof that Jason wasn’t lying and it made Dick’s head spin and his cock fill. There was no more room for the doubts he’d been driven by for the past two weeks. Now there was only Jason’s mouth, hot and demanding against his, and his body that seemed so strong and endless. Dick’s imagination supplied him with flashes of how it could be - the fantasies he had entertained about Tim earlier, but now starring a different partner. Arousal shot like a bullet through him and he moaned, jutting his hips forward like a horny teenager. God, how long had it been since he’d been wound up this tightly? How was Jason doing this with just a kiss?

“ _Dick.”_ Jason muttered his name as he pulled his lips back, eyelids at half mast. It wasn’t quite enough to hide his dilated pupils, nor the look of predatory interest. Yet he ducked his head before Dick could reply, pressing his mouth to Dick’s throat, licking gently at Dick’s adam’s apple before nipping a path around the unprotected areas of his neck. “Gotta’ take off your suit. Wanna’ kiss you more.”

Oh. _Oh._ Yes. Yeah, he could do that. He reached behind to both disengage the suit’s electroshock defense system and unhook the zipper, aware too of how he presented himself like this. Jason’s hands fell to his hips and his eyes widened as Dick stretched.

“ _Shit,_ Dickiebird. You better hurry the fuck up or I’m gonna’ figure out a way to do this through the suit.”

Oh goddamn. That shouldn’t be hot at all, not with all the fights this suit has been through. But the way Jason said it made it more than worth it, all low and husky and nearly reverent. He managed to pull the zipper down and Jason was ready to take care of the rest, peeling the suit away from his body, exposing his shoulders and chest…

Bruises dotted his body, in varying degrees of healing. Jason’s eyes dropped to them, hooding thoughtfully. It would be no different with him, save Dick remembered that Jay had tended to scar rather than bruise. He would have more, now. He would have the ones the Joker had left on him-

Dick jolted, nearly dislodging Jason from where he had taken up tonguing Dick’s collarbone. He glanced up and Dick saw the fleeting worry in his expression. Did he think Dick was going to stop? Didn’t he realize how fucking amazing this was with him, and how crazy he had made him? Clearly Jason was an idiot, but Dick had always known that. Yet in this insane situation, he finally knew what to do to fix that.

He tugged at Jason’s t-shirt, exposing hard abs and a thin trail of reddish hair. “Up. Off.” When Jason didn’t move, he tugged again. “If you get to see, I do too.”

Jason stared at him for a moment. He finally raised his arms, but had to look away as he did so. Dick understood why as soon as the shirt cleared his armpits. Among the scars and bruises he had flash burns, undoubtedly from when he had died. There was also the y cut from the autopsy, all those years ago. It had healed but left a glossy white scar on his stomach and chest - a permanent reminder that he had died. Its existence and Jason’s vulnerability made his heart turn over, and before he could rationalize the impulse - before he could tug the shirt completely over Jason’s head, even - he leaned forward to lick along the scar, clumsy with intent.

Jason tore the shirt off and flung it into the living room. His chest heaved and Dick had to hold on to keep from getting dislodged. He had just finished kissing down to the stem of the cut when Jason stopped him. He was pulled back up into a bruising kiss, so full of emotion that Dick felt as if he could drown in it. Yet before he could pull back and demand to finish kissing that damn scar - and then he’d move onto all the ones the Joker left on him, see if Jason could run away from _that -_ Jason flipped him over and pinned him back down on the kitchen floor.

He loomed over him like some sort of terrible, beautiful god. Dick knew there was danger here; there would always be danger when dealing with the Red Hood. But now that Jason was looking at him as if he were heaven, hell, and road that lay between Dick understood that there was another sort of danger he hadn’t been prepared for. Yet this was Jason, and Dick had promised himself that he’d never lose him again. So he stretched out his arms and watched as Jason’s face contracted with pain.

“You don’t know what you’re asking for, Dick. Even if you did I’m...I’m not the person who should give it to you.”

Jason was an idiot, Dick reminded himself. That was nothing new. He kept his voice serene, and for once it wasn’t difficult. “Shut up and love me, Jason. Or else I’ll up and love _you.”_

A tiny grin cracked the corner of his mouth. “Big words from the straight boy.”

Dick narrowed his eyes and began to tug at Jason’s shoulders. “I’m five years older than you, you brat. Don’t make me prove it.”

Jason hesitated, eyes clouding over momentarily. Yet before Dick could do anything other than wonder what he was thinking about, he leaned in. “Whatever you say, old man.” He kissed him, ending the debate. He kissed him for a long time, until Dick no longer remembered that odd moment of contemplation on Jason’s part. To be fair, he kissed Dick with such achingly sweet desperation that Dick could barely remember his own name, nor why they shouldn’t be doing this in the first place.

Then he peeled down Dick’s suit and trailed his mouth over every inch of newly revealed skin, tracing his tongue over his ribs, biting lightly at his thighs. His hands held Dick’s hips still as he tongued his way towards Dick’s center, and Dick found staying silent impossible when Jason brought his mouth to his cock. There should have been no difference between Jason’s mouth and a woman’s but there _was_ \- Jason’s mouth was so hot and big around him, and there was something so exquisitely lewd about a man suckling on his cock. About _Jason_ suckling him, maybe. Dick tilted his head back and moaned, body sparking with illicit delight. He watched his partner with half-hooded eyes, mesmerized by the motion of his head, hands, and mouth. Maybe it wasn’t about being gay or straight at all, maybe it was all about _Jason._ If that were the case, then he could just give himself over to the most powerful sexual experience of his life and explain it all away as being Jason-sexual, rather than any other fucking thing-

Jason sucked hard, cheeks hollowing, and Dick saw stars. When he followed that up by licking on his tip like a lollipop, Dick knew he wouldn’t last long. That familiar pulse was growing, glancing like fire inside his veins. His hands tightened in Jason’s hair and he tried to gasp out a warning.

“Jay - just. You gotta - I’m gonna’...”

Jason chuckled around him and the vibrations shot straight to the center. He pulled off just long enough to murmur, “Yeah, baby. Come for me. _Come.”_

He took Dick deep, and that was the end. Dick thrust up and came with a choked off yell, cum spurting down Jason’s throat. He was lodged so deeply he _felt_ Jason’s first swallow, and then the second. By the third his hips had fallen back down and his cock slipped out of Jason’s mouth with a wet plopping sound, and even that was deliciously obscene. After a long moment of laying there and panting Dick forced his eyes open, determined to do right by his partner, even if it meant denying himself the hazy afterglow. Would Jason stand for cuddle time? Maybe after an orgasm of his own?

There was only one way to find out.

“ _Jason.”_ He reached for his lover, flowing up against him. His voice was low and throaty, and he gave up speaking in favor of kissing him, over and over again, shuddering at the bitter taste of his cum in Jason’s mouth. He was oddly stiff against him yet Dick was made to melt into the corners of his body, pushing against his resistance. A part of Dick’s sex-fogged brain was a bit puzzled by Jason’s reluctance, yet that slipped away when Jason suddenly surged against him, wrapping his arms around him to entrap him. Dick had never been so overpowered sexually, and in the back of his mind he thought this should probably feel wrong. Yet all he could feel was so utterly complete; safe yet overwhelmed in the best possibly way as Jason tilted him gently back down to the floor, covering him with every inch of his hard earned muscle. The sensation only intensified when Jason nudged his legs apart with a knee and slowly ground his hips against Dick’s core, rubbing his erection against him.

Oh. Lingering heterosexual tendencies be damned; that wasn’t disgusting at all. Vague images of what Jason could do with his cock flitted through his mind and he tilted back his head and moaned, loudly and lasciviously.

Jason ground in harder and chuckled, his voice deep and dark and so utterly sexy. “Like that, Dickie? Oh, you bad little bird. Shit, you look so pretty like this...but I bet you’re gonna’ look even better on my cock.”

Dick’s mind overloaded. He hadn’t been this hard again so quickly since he was 14, but if Jason kept talking to him like that he was going to come again without being touched. He let go of his final reservations, and his hands reached blindly for Jason’s pants. He arched up, trying to catch Jason’s mouth in a kiss and whined when Jason leaned back, smirking.

“Ah ah ahh - gotta’ be a good boy and lay back down.” As he spoke he trailed one hand along the stiffening length of Dick’s penis, while the other dropped to the zipper on his pants. With several deft movements his pants were down past his hips and Dick learned several important things. One, that Jason apparently liked to go commando when not on patrol. Two, that he was at least an inch longer than him, although thankfully not as thick. Three, that Jason was indisputably a natural redhead.

Dick’s mouth went dry as his gaze fell on _Jason._ He’d seen other cocks before, especially during the communal showering days when he was still a Teen Titan. Yet he’d not really looked before, and never with interest. The sight of it was odd, but not disgusting. It was Jason’s, after all, and everything else they had done tonight had blown his mind. Whatever came next would undoubtedly be worth it, especially if it kept making Dick’s heartbeat accelerate and his brain fizzle with static.

“Can I…?” His mouth failed him, and Jason rose an eyebrow at his ineptitude. The look steeled Dick’s resolve, and he tried again. Jason may know what he was doing, but Dick was older, and that had to count for _something._ “I want to touch you.”

_That_ made something flicker across Jason’s face, although Dick wasn’t exactly clear minded enough to figure out what it was. He dropped both his hands to Dick, leaving his own cock free. “Knock yourself out.”

Dick worked very hard at not thinking about that too literally and imagining an instance where he could in fact knock himself out with Jason’s cock. There were several ways that could go - the comical or the hopelessly sexual. Either one was too distracting at the moment, however, so he sat up and reached out with one hand, the other steadying on Jason’s thigh. He cupped his hand around the head of Jason’s cock, smearing a drop of pre-cum onto the springy skin. He closed his fingers around the shaft and pumped once, slowly, taking in the intoxicating yet slightly surreal experience of stroking someone else’s cock.

Then he looked up at Jason’s expression. What he saw there decided several things. For one, he was going to take his cock into his mouth and learn how to give him the best damn blowjob of his life, because there was no way in fuck he was letting anyone else see that kind of expression ever again. For another, sometime before the end of the night was over he was likely going to admit something embarrassing and far too soon, but painfully true. Actually, if he didn’t start sucking on Jason right now, the admission was about to fly out of his mouth anyway. And no matter how out of character Jason had been for the last hour or so, telling him that he loved him could do only one thing: make him run.

So Dick opened his mouth. Whether it was to prolong the sexual encounter or unburden his heart would never be known, however, as just at the moment Jason’s security system was hacked and a familiar yet terrifying voice piped in from the speakers in his living room.

“ _Richard John Grayson!”_

Both men froze and paled, looking at each other with barely restrained panic. They both had plenty of experience with Barbara Gordon’s ire, and that was the angriest she’d sounded in recent memory. Dick winced reflectively, and Jason’s arousal wilted in front of him. Oh god. Was this one of Jason’s safe houses that she’d secretly bugged?

Praying it was not, he cleared his throat and answered, “Little busy, Babs. Is this an emergency?”

Jason began putting himself away and Dick reached out to stop him. His grip weakened when her voice came through again, even angrier than before. “ _Emergency? Oh sure, that’s one word for it. How could you? And to Jason! Your little brother! You cheating bastard. You fucking-”_

She cut herself off and it was more frightening than the realization that she knew exactly what they were doing. An Oracle that was too upset to yell at them was an Oracle at the end of her expansive acceptance, and having dated her on and off for years, Dick knew exactly how far that acceptance stretched. This was the angriest she’d ever been with him, and it resulted in sheer terror.

It was not as frightening as Jason’s glacial impassivity, however. Although he was still right next to him with Dick’s hand on his leg, he was completely closed off and inaccessible. The heat and passion were extinguished, and panic churned in Dick’s gut at the thought of losing it forever. “Barbara, I’m sorry, but we’ll have to talk about this later. Do you need something _right now?”_

There was a beat of silence wherein Jason did not look at him, no matter how hard Dick willed him too. Then, _"Understand, Richard, that I am never, ever going to forgive you, but the last thing Damian needs is to see is...whatever it is that you are doing on Jason Todd's kitchen floor and so here is your friendly warning. Fuck off. Literally. You have three minutes before he gets there."_

Dick closed his eyes as Barbara cut the connection, willing away an unexpected burst of anger at Damian, Barbara...hell, everyone in the world who wasn’t currently sitting in this kitchen. Yet then he felt his suit being pulled up. His eyes flew open, but Jason was looking everywhere but his face as he helped him dress himself.

“C’mon. Oracle’s right, kiddo doesn’t need to see this. Let’s get you ready, Nightwing.”

They were silent as they re-dressed him. A thousand thoughts and feelings swirled around inside of Dick, but Jason’s silence defeated them all. The best he could hope for was that Jason was communicating his own feelings through his firm yet gentle touch, and the slight hesitation as he zipped up the final inch on Dick’s suit. With Damian only a few blocks away Dick turned to look at Jason and although his face was still unreadable, he was finally able to read his defeat in the set of his shoulders.

“This isn’t over,” he promised him, hoping he sounded more sure than he felt. Jason would run now, even though Dick hadn’t admitted to the tumultuous feelings bubbling up inside of him. There hadn’t been enough _time._ It had all happened too quickly, yet Dick hadn’t gotten nearly enough. There was so much he wanted to give Jason, and share with him, and receive in turn. Yet it all depended on Jason, whose idea of emotional intelligence culminated in spending his second stab at life trying to overthrow the man whom he loved the most.

Jason’s eyes flicked behind him, and he supposed Damian was there. “ _Go,_ ” he whispered, his eyes falling on Dick’s at the last.

The emptiness inside of them scared Dick, so he went. There was nothing else he could do, yet he still hated himself for doing it.

…

…

…

…

…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up - Jason and Barbara talk it out, and both are somewhat surprised at the result.


	5. Jason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am totally disregarding Essence. In general, I'm mixing pre and New 52 elements, as I am a woman who likes what she likes, and is just going to write about that, thank you very much.

Jason was pretty sure he had said it before, but it was something that bore repeating: there was nothing good in Gotham. Hell, there was nothing good in the entirety of the state. And after The Incident that had lead to the systematic destruction of ¾ of his safe houses (Oracle had been far more thorough than even _he_ had suspected) he had sworn off Gotham for good. Again.

Yet here he was barely a month later checking in for what he promised himself was the last time. It really was a matter of honor. He had planned the sting with Replacement before The Incident occurred, and when given half a chance Replacement was pretty good at laying on the guilt. Besides, the hit was a mobster with far-reaching plans that extended past Gotham’s city limits. It was simply a matter of taking him down now before he bolstered anyone on Jason’s watch list.

He was also fairly attractive, if you had a thing for slicked-back Italians. Jason didn’t - at least, not recently - but that didn’t bother him too much. What bothered him was how hard it had been to sidle up to him and lay it on as thickly as he needed to. Sticking his tongue down the man’s throat had been even worse. The man kissed with surprising finesse, and for a moment all Jason could feel and taste was Dick, and then all the memories Jason had been so good at repressing came rushing in. It took all of Jason’s discipline not to jump the man for real, right in front of Replacement who was taping the whole thing.

If he had needed hard evidence that everything about Dick was a mistake, that had been it. That should have been the easiest part of the mission, and he very nearly screwed it all up with a moment of sentimentality. Luckily he hadn’t needed to resort to violence to complete the mission - the long reaching destruction would come from spreading the tape around his homophobic backers, and in the short run Replacement had zip tied the man literally with his pants down and left him for the vaunted proper authorities. But next time? What happened with he faced down someone with black hair, blue eyes, and olive skin?

Hesitation wasn’t an option. Neither was carrying a torch for Richard Grayson.

Jason let himself in one of his few uncompromised safe houses. It was the one over the dilapidated former bakery, with a trapdoor in the floor that lead to the back alleys, and the impromptu skyroof that he and Roy had tarped over a couple months back. It was also one of his more technologically primitive hideouts, which was why it survived his Oracle purge. Babs was extremely good at what she did, and he didn’t begrudge her it, but knowing that he wasn’t as unplugged as he’d hoped was a sobering experience. Not as sobering as being caught with his mouth on her boyfriend’s cock, of course, but it was up there.

And there it was. The staggering self-loathing he’d been carrying around since The Incident. There were no excuses. He’d lost his freaking mind that night, and although Babs hadn’t gone after him - yet - he knew that she was perfectly entitled to.

Yet on the heels of that was something that tasted too much like regret. How far would Dick have gone if Barbara hadn’t stopped them? Would he have backed off on his own? Probably, although there had been that hungry look on his face when Jason had whipped his out that made him think he might have been wrong about Dickiebird’s heterosexuality…

Overpowering both his guilt and regret was desire. Desire like he’d never known before. Any memory of that night was powerful enough to unman him; making him painfully hard even through his guilt, and that was a new experience for Jason. He knew his sexuality was a little off - dying and being dunked in a Lazarus Pit could do that, he supposed - and he had gone for months without the slightest urge after he’d risen from the dead. Desire had normalized slowly, settling back into the previously unexplored bisexuality he had attempted to hide throughout his teenage years. He’d taken partners then, quick one offs with men and women. There had been no more room in his life for anything else.

Kori and Roy had been the exception to this rule, as the first to love him and stay with him but they were a team foremost, and then lovers between themselves. Jason had ducked out of any polyamorous arrangement before it could begin, and potentially wreck their equilibrium. Yet if he had known he’d just be escaping into this situation with Dick…

There was no helping it. He certainly hadn’t planned for any of this. He’d just have to take it one step at a time, and purge himself of all this...whatever it was.

God, he fucking hated Gotham.

The sting. Just think about that, and how well it went once again. It kind of was a pity that he and Replacement worked together so well now that he’d decided to leave Gotham behind. But if he stayed Dick would find him and...well. Something would happen. Jason couldn’t lie to himself and say he’d shoot him or even hurt him too badly, but neither could he dream of a kinder welcome. There would be no repeat of the madness from one month ago. There couldn’t be. No matter how fucking fantastic it had been, nor how obvious it was that there was the possibility for something more between them.

Jason winced. There couldn’t be anything between them _especially_ because of that possibility. There were way too many feelings involved between them already, stemming back from his days in the green undies and pixie boots. The worst possible thing he could do was bring that bubbling pot to a boil, no matter how badly he wanted him.

Besides, Dicklita had doggedly stuck by his decree that they were brothers and that meant something. He was probably tearing himself apart right now, thinking he’d fucked everything to hell. Well, let him think that then. Jason knew better, but even his newly discovered feelings for him weren’t enough to try and change his mind. Besides, the only way he knew how to communicate with him without blowing something up was with his body, and golly gee whiz let’s all look at how well _that_ worked.

And now he was back to thinking about Dicktron. Jason swore.

“ _Language, Jason. There’s a lady present.”_

Jason spun, pistol at his hip ready and in position before he completed his turn. He backed slowly to the corner, taking in the dark room. Although he recognized the voice, he didn’t put down the gun. “Oh goddamnit, Babs. I thought this place was clean.”

There was a dry, metallic snort of amusement. At least he hoped it was amusement. It was a little hard to tell out of such a cheap quality speaker. “ _It was until about an hour ago. I had to be a little creative with how I contacted you, so Tim dropped off a private connection when you were mooning about the city. Don’t be mad at him, Jason. He’s just worried about you.”_

Jason narrowed his eyes. Clearly, he had been all manner of remiss in letting that baby bird into his life. At least the Demon Child wouldn’t have the gall to do such a thing because he was _worried_ about him. Stupid Replacement. Stupid Babs.

Stupid _Dick_.

“That desperate to talk, huh? Ok, pretty lady.” The bravado that had surged at the thought of Replacement in his apartment died down when he remembered how he’d done her wrong. “This about business? Or is it about me making Dick a cheating bastard?” He trailed off, settling the pistol in his thigh holster. He continued on, striving for a disconnectedness he didn’t feel. “‘Cuz if its the latter, I have a thing or two I need to say to you. Babs- _Barbara_. You know me. I’m a fucking shitbird and there’s no denying it. But I didn’t _know_ he was with you. I mean, I kind of figured you guys were...but then he was there, doing _that_ and...well, Dickles is a lot of things, but a cheater isn’t one of them. I guess I just figured I’d been wrong. I mean, I _was_ wrong, and about more than just _that_ , but you know what I mean.” He took a deep breath. “So, I’m sorry I hurt you - that I did that to you. Now let me have it, girl. I know you’re angry - hell, you got every right to be - so let me have my share, yeah?”

Jason was prepared for a lot of things. Screaming at him for seducing her man, chiding him for doing something that would shake the hero/villain dynamics in Gotham, calling him out for being an incestuous little fuckwad for getting it on with his older brother figure. What he did not expect was for Barbara to sigh and announce, _“Oh, Jason. You’re an idiot.”_

While he realized that was the general consensus among the Batfamily, it surprised him that that was her opening salvo. “Ok...” He let that hang there as he waited patiently, knowing that he had to give her at least ten more minutes of this awkwardness before he could try and convince himself that he was forgiven.

This wasn’t their first argument, and Barbara knew his tactics. She flowed in seamlessly as if she hadn’t waited for more of a response in the first place. “ _Seriously. You’re the second biggest idiot I know, and that is saying something. Do you know why I’m angry with you, Jason? Do you really?”_

This was a trick questions, and Jason had learned at a very young age to answer such questions from irate females very carefully. If she was asking like that, it meant she wasn’t primarily angry at him for doing things with Dick. Yet as that was the crux of the issue, Jason couldn’t quite see past it. He wisely remained silent, shifting his weight from side to side.

Thankfully, Barbara needed no help when she got going full steam. “ _It’s because you know better. Dick is an idiot - he’s the biggest one, I think we covered that already - but you have at least a serving spoon of common sense! And not to reflect on your sordid past, but you promised that you’d never sleep with someone who could tear the family apart again-”_

“ _Dick is not Talia_.” Jason cut through her argument and his tone of voice was as effective as a cocked gun. This was an old argument, and yeah, he’d promised her -promised _himself -_ that he’d never be taken advantage of by someone who had the power who could destroy more than just him. But this and that were wildly different things. Dick could never be like Talia, with her blatant disregard for life, affection, and all the things that made people human. Jason seethed. Talia was a homicidal bitch who destroyed everything in her path. Whereas Dick was… Dick was…

“ _I know that, Jason. But the point remains. Your idiocy combined would likely bring about the end of Gotham, you know that, right? And it would kill B. Absolutely end him. Or is that the victory that you’re looking for?”_

“Fuck _off,_ Barbara.”

She continued on, undeterred. “ _I have to examine all the angles, Jason. If you and Dick kept this up it could end up destroying the infrastructure of the Bat network. People would take sides, and I think you’d be surprised at who fell where. But-”_

Jason had enough. This wasn’t the tongue lashing he was prepared to suffer through - nor would it absolve his guilt for nearly getting it on with Dickington. He deserved to withstand Barbara’s personal pain and disapproval, but not suffer through a Family Comes First Crisis. “Babs, let’s clear something up right quick. First of all, I didn’t do this to hurt anyone - not you, not Dick, not big ol’ Daddy B. Neither was it supposed to hurt Oracle, or Nightwing or Batman. Do you get it? Jason Todd doesn’t have shit with you or Dick or B. Red Hood has shit with Nightwing and Batman when they cramp his style, but that’s about it. So, no. I’m not using this to gain some twisted victory over Bats. That’s not what the hood stands for. That’s not what _I_ stand for either.”

He took a deep breath. “Secondly, it’s not something that’s going to happen again. I cleared out because I know how hopelessly stupid it all was, and that’s my way of calling it off. It’s just a thing that happened, and it’s over now. Got it?” It was a lot harder to admit out loud than he’d thought. He was beyond grateful that she couldn’t see his face when he said all that. He was sure his disappointment would have been obvious even behind his domino.

“ _I see. In that case, I’m almost proud of you.”_

Jason was stunned. Stunned, but not dead. A glib, “Almost?” rolled off his tongue before he could think better of it.

Barbara scoffed, and even through the shitty connector it was fond. “ _Don’t make me repeat it, Jason. I’m just glad you’re looking out for yourself, and are mature enough to keep this about you and Dick, rather than you and B.”_

It still wasn’t computing. “But...aren’t you mad at me? You do know what I did with your boyfriend, don’t you?” If she didn’t, he was going to get the hell out of the apartment and run like mad. Just saying. Barbara was still terrifying, even if wheelchair bound.

“ _Yes, and thank you so kindly for reminding me. Even if he’s not my boyfriend - and wasn’t at the time, before you ask you numbnut - it still hurts like hell to hear him getting intimate with someone he’s supposed to love platonically, not sexually.”_

Oh, damn. Dick _hadn’t_ been with Babs? That should change nothing at all but still stirred up embers of excitement in his belly. Relief washed over him like waves on a shore before common sense tamped down his good mood. Ok, so Jason hadn’t made him an adulterer. Good to know, but ultimately changed nothing.

“ _Oh, were you worrying about_ that _all this time? You need to realize that angry women will say anything. Besides, you were never the cheating bastard. I was not nearly as angry with you as I was with Dick - and not just because he was my ex._

She sighed. _“Do you know what Dick does, Jason? He loves you so completely, like you’re perfect beyond measure, until you can’t do anything but love him back just as helplessly. And then he remembers that he loves Gotham and Nightwing and crime fighting more. You can actually see it - the way he’s torn between you and his duty. It’s heartbreaking. And not just to me - you can ask Koriand’r about it as well - they were together for a little while._

“ _Adding you into the mix is like adding water to a gas fire. There’s too much between you too already. I was angry at him for not realizing that.”_

Jason appreciated the incendiary reference even as he took offense. “Because I’m all fucked up in the head, right? I couldn’t possibly be good for _Nightwing_ , hero of Gotham and Bludhaven. I would just mess him up more, and make it even harder for him to function, right?”

It was his night to be surprised because Barbara actually laughed. “ _Oh, no. That’s not what I’m saying at all. Dick’s got a higher emotional intelligence than anyone else in the superhero business, and he’s been running rings around us repressed vigilantes for years. But he’s flighty. You know that almost as well as I do._ You _need someone more stable than him, someone who loves you without flying away when you need him, and who can accept why it is what you do. And maybe you’re the person who could tie Dick down - I don’t know, and I kind of don’t want to think about it - but no one can keep Nightwing from going after the vigilantes on the other side of the law. Not in this life, at least._

“ _What I’m trying to say is that unless something fundamental changes between the two of you, I’m afraid that he’ll just hurt you more.”_

Jason mouth went dry. None of this was what he had expected, and that Barbara was in his corner for once may or may not be a sign of the end times. He opened his mouth to assure her that he was a big boy, but she continued.

“ _And before you tell me off and put on the ‘I’m the big bad Jason Todd routine,’ I want you to know that more of us care about you than you think. Whatever is going on in Dick’s head is his business, but don’t think for one blessed moment that I don’t love you too, you asshole. I may not be the fondest of the Red Hood, but Dick wasn’t my only Robin, and don’t you forget it._

“ _Tim loves you too, although it’s not the same. He looks_ up _to you, Jason. He’s actually a little disappointed that you and Dick aren’t speaking anymore. So before you hash all this out with Dick, think about that. If we mean nothing to you, then do what you’re going to do. If we do...well. Just think about it.”_

That was an entire fucking barrage of low blows, and Babs knew it. Pulling out the love card was a whammy in itself, but bringing Replacement into this? Damn. Kid shouldn’t be looking up to him, not when he’d almost murdered the kid once or twice. Or three times. Third time was totally an accident though.

Clearly Replacement had brain damage. He did too, though, as he was still here listening to Barbara cut him down. “Hash all this out with Dick? We’re not talking about this, Babs. It’s done, and I’m going to go away. That’s the end.”

“ _You’re underestimating him if you think he’ll take silence as an answer. Circus boy, remember?”_

Yeah, yeah. Silence drove him up the wall. It was always noise and lights and movement with Dick, and the silent treatment was pretty much the death sentence. Didn’t change anything though. “Well, I could always go on a killing spree. Clean up some of the dealers at the docks and end this...thing with him in one go. How’s that sound?”

“ _What was that you just said about keeping this personal, and not using it as an attack on your alter egos?”_

Well, damn. Angry women apparently did listen, and he was now shit out of ideas. “You really think talking about this will just...make it all go away? Couldn’t you just, you know, have him listen to this tape?”

“ _I could. But you haven’t said anything about your feelings for him, and that’s all that could turn him off now. Could you do that? Blatantly lie to him and tell him that he means nothing to you?”_

Jason licked his lips. He kept his voice low and serious, and imagined he was talking about Talia al Ghul. “I feel nothing but disgust for Dick. I regret everything we did. I’d take it all back if I could. There, is that enough?”

“ _Oh god help us, Jason. If that’s the best you can do, we are all screwed. Look, just wear your hood and try not to slip into Farsi when you actually say that to Dick. Might give it away that you’re not actually thinking about him.”_

Oh goddamn it. Dick was going to be the death of him, he knew it.

“ _Ok, I’ve meddled enough. It’s up to you, but Dick isn’t going to let go of this anytime soon. I’ll send along his patrol schedule for the next week so you do what you need to do. Impress me, Jason. Do the right thing.”_

“Love you too, Babs.” His parting shot was dry and a bit unfair, but so was their entire conversation. He heard her sign off - a courtesy - and sank back down against the wall. After a moment of reliving the most pertinent aspects of their conversation one more time, he held his head in his hands and sighed.

He would do it, of course. He had dug his own grave when he admitted that his personal vendetta wouldn’t cross into their civilian lives and vice versa. So he would talk to Dick, spit out that he hated him - in English this time - and take off. And then - and this time he _meant_ his promise - he was never coming back to Gotham.

Fucking Dicktor. Somehow, this was all his fault.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently Jason thinks through his feelings sometimes. Who knew?
> 
> Next up - In a longer installment, Dick is directed by a mixture of rage and the need to cuddle, and Jason reaps the dubious benefits.


	6. Dick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As ever, this is un beta'd. Please be kind and tell me about my mistakes as otherwise I'll do stupid things like mixing up desserts and snow hats again. (I am still pretty embarrassed about that, dang.)

Dick was not at all ok here, although he was doing his goddamned best to be so. It had been a month. A freaking month, and he didn’t know where Jason was, what he was doing ( _who he was doing what with),_ and what he could do to change the situation.

Most importantly, however, he didn’t know what he wanted to do. Besides find Jason and shake the ever living hell out of him, of course, but that wasn’t a viable long term solution. He’d already thought through a plethora of short term solutions: beyond the immediate finding and shaking of Jason, there were very high possibilities of arguing, fighting, and then fucking him into a pliable stupor. Dick was honest enough with himself to admit which one he wanted most, previous ironclad heterosexuality aside. Dick bet if he loved Jason up enough he might even get cuddle time, as an aroused Jason was apparently an old softie who a) didn’t shoot Dick on sight, and b) secretly cared at least a marginal amount about Dick’s emotional well-being.

Dick was a major proponent of cuddle time, and he could only see positives in bringing the light of cuddles into Jason’s previously cuddle-free existence. All that anger made for what he was assuming (hoping) was fantastic sex, but Dick suspected that the gentler aspects of loving might soften Jason’s edges. Might not be enough to make him turn aside from his path, but at least get him to a healthier emotional place. It was a start. A noble impulse, Dick assured himself. It really was not just selfish wish fulfillment, and that the thought of lying boneless against Jason’s bulk made him feel like he was ready to claw out of his skin for the opportunity.

Yet all this was his optimism speaking, and Dick knew that no matter how pretty the projection, there would never be a chance to see it through. He wasn’t irresponsible enough to ignore what he and Jason together would do to Bruce, let alone the family. Barbara had outlined every single outcome with excruciating clarity after ripping into him for seducing his little brother. Not that _he_ had really been the driving force here - she hadn’t seen how fucking hot Jay was when he was cooking, and admitting his stunted feelings, and laying him down onto the floor like he was the most delicious piece of meat he’d ever consumed. Still, he got the point. He plus Jason equalled disaster, and going after to him to finish what they started was a bad idea.

It was why he didn’t look for Jason the rest of that week when Bruce was still in Trinidad. It was also why he fobbed Damian off with an embarrassingly detailed lie about why he had been to see Jason in the first place - it involved Kori, Roy, and a trip to the gynecologist and even Dami had asked no further questions.

Tim was a harder matter, as he had Bruce’s insight and the pronounced need to know just about everything. Thankfully he had been distracted by some personal drama - Superboy and Wondergirl had broken up again and Tim had been doing the best friend comfort routine while keeping his team together - and so Dick had been able to skate on by. Sometimes he despaired at how easy it was to keep secrets in their family. Not that his technique would work for anyone else, of course. He had been so painfully open about every other aspect of his life - to the embarrassment and discomfort of just about every other member of the family, usually - that no one could imagine him keeping such a personal secret. Unless Barbara or Jason came out with it (and he couldn’t imagine either of them doing so, as Babs had promised and Jason had fucked off to god knows where. Dick wasn’t upset or angry, he wasn’t. Fucker.) the secret was safe and it was over, and he could just get on with his life.

Except he couldn’t. It wasn’t just the powerful sexual realization that had broken down and reshaped his sexual identity overnight. It was more the thought that for once, he could have gotten through to Jason. _This_ was the method of communication he had been missing all this time, _this_ was the way to leave an indelible impression upon him. Jason had always burned so brightly, and Dick had done nothing but mourn the changes in him since he had died. Yet if those changes were what enabled this current state, he could no longer mourn. If Jason had not died and become the Red Hood would he still have this chance? Dick thought not, and that realization opened a door that had long remained shut in his heart.

Acceptance was one of Richard Grayson’s most powerful weapons. Woe betide Jason Todd if the opportunity arose for him to wield it.

…

 

After two days of further vacillation, the matter was unexpectedly decided for him. After a particularly stifling afternoon with Batman and Robin, he had decided to spend some time in Bludhaven, sending Barbara into a bit of a tizzy. Really, sometimes he just couldn’t understand that woman. He was leaving Gotham - and ostensibly Jason, who had gone to earth in a clear, obvious, and hurtful attempt to avoid Dick - wasn’t that a good thing? He had gotten a bit curt with Babs which was probably never smart, but his patience had been stretched extremely thin as of late. He needed a day or two to patrol by himself, working his old city for a taste of how it had been. Here he could be himself, and not worry about keeping up facades of cheer and optimism when all he wanted to do was wing himself back into Jason’s life and have it out with him, one way or another.

He had just finished lunch when he received Tim’s call. Kon was driving him a little crazy with Wondergirl this and Wondergirl that...could Dick come over and give some helpful input? He hated to involve his older brother in his friend’s drama, but Kon could be as stubborn as the farm animals he cared for, and Tim had had just about enough, thank you.

Dick beamed. Meddling was his primary form of social excitement these days, and teenage drama was his favorite. Plus, he loved his baby bird and knew that Timmy was super protective about his best friend(s). So he ran over to Tim’s safehouse, feeling a little more than mildly flattered. He knew that Tim had been looking to install some birdnests abroad, but hadn’t realized he’d gone through with it. And in Bludhaven! That meant Dick was the favorite big brother, surely, and bragging rights were his the next time he saw Ja-

He clamped down on that thought with a spasm of pain. The feeling was distracting enough to keep him from making obvious connections as he ran up the stairs and entered the passcode on the keypad outside the door. It wasn’t until he was in the apartment proper that it hit him. This wasn’t Tim’s safehouse. It couldn’t be, not with the sniper’s sightlines, the grooved hooks on the wall where a helmet would hang, and the faint scent of gunpowder and eucalyptus.

This wasn’t Tim’s safehouse. This was _Jason’s._

Dick’s heart beat a rapid tattoo against his chest and his flight instincts took over. He spun for the door but the door had shut and locked behind him, and Tim just entered from stage right.

“Hey, D. Ok, so, change of plans - “

Dick caught up to him in three quick strides and shook him as gently as he could at the moment. “ _Timothy Jackson Drake.”_ It was all he could get out at the moment, but Tim was a smart boy and caught the gist.

He put his hands on top of Dick’s and smiled disarmingly. It was a smile that he’d learned from Dick, and even through his panic, there was a smidgeon of pride. “Dick, relax. He’s not here. He’s still in Gotham. _Relax._ He’s not going to know you were here, I promise.”

None of what Tim was saying was geared to help him relax. This was because Tim knew. Maybe not all of it, but he knew _enough_ to know that Dick was freaking out because he was in Jason’s safehouse, and that was a problem because the only person who would tell him what had happened was Jason. And if Jason told him that, then he trusted Tim way more than he trusted Dick, and that brought all his thoughts right back to the beginning when he feared that Jason and Tim were romantically involved. It was an irrational but insidious anxiety that left Dick feeling hollow.

Until he figured himself out, he just needed to deny. “I just - I don’t know who you’re talking about. I thought you needed help with Kon?”

Tim’s eyes narrowed. “No. I lied, sorry. I need you to help me out with my mission, and I wasn’t sure you would say yes. But now you’re here, and I’m really in a bind. Please, Dick?”

Oh, and there were the Drake puppy eyes. Big and blue and perfectly round - nothing like Jason’s sea-green, almond shaped eyes. Not that Jason ever did the puppy eyes. Had he ever done so, Dick’s heart might have spontaneously combusted, because woah damn. He did not think he could handle that line of thought any further. Still, Timmy needed his help, and that made his reply more fond that it should have been. “You little shit. Of course I can help. But can’t we take this over to my place? I’m sure J - Red Hood wouldn’t want us to be hanging around his digs.”

Dick didn’t want to stay in this place any longer. Little hints of Jason were everywhere, and the subtle scent hanging in the air was bringing delicious yet distracting somatic memories to the fore.

Tim, however, had other ideas. “No, Jason won’t mind. He told me to do this here.” He let that hang for a moment and his sharp eyes took in Dick’s look of boggling horror. “This is connected to that mission we planned out a month ago. You know, the one we were plotting before he mysteriously took off for a month and refused all attempts at communication? He finally got his act together a couple of days ago and we finished the sting. Now all I have to do is edit the tape and prepare to spread it around the hit’s backers.

You have the best eye for presentation that I know, so I figured I’d get your help, if you’re willing?”

There were several key aspects of that statement that took Dick’s attention and shook it like a dog with a bone. First was the fact that Jason was back in Gotham, and had finished his mission with Tim without anyone else knowing it. Second was that something about their mission required the services of a showman - why else care for the presentation otherwise? Thirdly, and most importantly, this was his chance to see Jason in action. Would this kill or cure his feelings for him?

Dick didn’t know, but he was going to find out. He pasted on a broad smile and clapped a hand on Tim’s shoulder. “Of course I’ll help, Timmy! So, fill me in. What’ll we be watching? And what am I watching for?”

Tim gave him a look out of the corner of his eye as he flipped open his laptop and prepared the recording. “Oh, it’s pretty self-explanatory. The backers are pretty traditional and conservative, and they’d been supporting someone who was...not so much. Jason went in to make use of that, and I made sure to get all the best angles.” He turned to face him and his tone became a little less casual and a little more natural. “No one dies, Dick. I wouldn’t make you watch _that._ I told you, I think that Jason and I work pretty well together, and if we can keep this up…”

The thought of Tim and Jason continuing to work together shouldn’t make Dick nearly sick with envy, or perhaps it should. Why could Tim have Jason so easily, when Dick had to fucking kill himself to let him go? Yet none of that was Tim’s problem, so he swallowed past the lump in his throat and nodded to the screen. “Just start it, Tim.”

Tim gave him one more look before shifting slightly away from him and hitting play.

Dick regretted his decision immediately. The camera started off on Jason, and seeing him again was like a punch in the gut. He was unmasked and in civilian clothes, although subtle makeup and prosthetics had been applied to mask his identity. Yet Dick knew Jason, would know him anywhere now. And so he watched as he sauntered through the - oh god, was that a brothel? Oh god _damn._ Jason had taken _Tim_ to a brothel? But now his destination was clear. He gave a cocky grin to a greasily handsome Italian man, whose answering smile was predatory and very, very interested.

Dick sucked in a deep breath, and knew what was about to happen the moment before it did. Jason leaned over the bar just to the left of Greaseball, and turned to shoot a coquettish look over at him. Greaseball took it as the invitation it was - and of fucking course it was an invitation, they were in a brothel for chrissake this was _clearly_ an assignation - and ran a finger down Jason’s spine, leaning in to murmur as he did. Jason murmured something in return and suddenly he was spun back and pressed back into the counter, and Greaseball was rubbing their bodies together in a lewd facsimile of what Dick himself wanted. Yet Jason wasn’t pushing him away - of fucking course not. He was winding his arms around the mobster’s back, pulling him closer so that they could kiss-

Dick was vaguely aware that he was not breathing, and that he probably should start doing so if he didn’t want to pass out and alert Tim to his distress. Yet this was... _Jason_ was...oh fuck. If he did anything other than breathe shallowly and quickly through his nose, he was going to fucking lose it. He couldn’t look away. Everything went very quiet and still - even though Tim was right next to him, it felt as if he were in a separate yet parallel universe. All that Dick could process was on the screen, and it was making his fury overflow.

Greaseball was kissing Jason like it was the best goddamn kiss of his life, and Dick entertained a brief fantasy of burning off the man’s lips with a lighter. His hands were clenched around Jason’s ass, to better gain purchase as he thrust against him through their clothes. Through his mounting rage a thought flashed hot across his eyelids. Was Jason aroused at the time? Did he appreciate this man’s advances, sting or not? Dick bet yes. If he could get it up for him while he’d been dosed by Ivy, he could surely get it up for this mob boss. Besides, he _looked_ like he enjoyed it - his hands were clutching Greaseball’s shoulders in a surprising show of vulnerability, and he had just tilted his head to the side to give the mob boss better access to his neck. Jason’s face was slack, eyes hazy with what might be pleasure...but then he looked directly at the camera, eyes flashing, and loosened his grip just enough to decidedly give the cameraman his middle finger.

Tim shifted awkwardly and hit pause. “I haven’t finished editing it, obviously. The finished product will be a little more evocative and less inflammatory. We’ve also left a paper trail - hotels paid for in his name with one of the credit cards keyed to Jason’s alias, printouts of suggestive texts and emails, as well as further photographic evidence. This is the breaker though, and the only visual sexual evidence. What do you think?”

Dick was currently thinking of many things, most of them unmentionable. It took him a moment to sift through them, and pick one of the few that applied to Tim, rather than Jason. “You’re destroying this man’s life, Tim. His backers could choose to kill him.”

Tim shook his head. “Not likely. He’s from a powerful family who’s made no bones about protecting their own. We just need him out of the hot seat so the balance down at the docks will shift. There’s been a huge power struggle for months now, and this was the most likely target to take control. It will leave a temporary power vacuum, but B and Oracle are already on that - we just needed to take him out of the picture. And we did. _Without_ killing him.”

Dick nodded, knowing that he was in no position to give Tim any advice whatsoever. His heart was crumpling inwards, and the world was so dim now, like a half lit computer screen. Yet there was also a moment of clarity: he knew why Tim had really asked him to come over. It was not for help, not for advice, not for any professional reason. No, he had asked him over to watch and to see what Jason really was. Had Jason put him up to it? Possibly. Tim was calculating but not usually cruel, whereas Jason would go to almost any length to achieve his ends. Yet Jason was also not this subtle - if he wanted Dick to go away, he would simply tell him so, potentially with the use of explosives.

Dick’s thoughts whirled in a vicious cycle, trying not to blame either brother, yet not quite knowing where to land. It was inevitable that the blame would end up resting on himself. Here was one thing he was certain of, however: Jason had made his choice. While he was hellbent on avoiding Dick, he could carry on business as usual with Tim. Maybe that had nothing to do with Dick, and maybe it did.

Maybe _none_ of this had anything to do with Dick, but he was still enraged nonetheless. He had to get out of here before he did something drastic. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s good Tim. Hey, it’s been fun, but I gotta’-”

“I also wanted to show you so you’d feel better. About the Ivy incident. I mean, if Jason can stand to kiss this loser, what you did had to be a _relief_ in comparis - wait, Dick? You ok?”

Dick saw what Tim was trying to do. There was no cruelty meant here, at least on Tim’s side, yet it was calculated to assuage the wrong thing. If Dick had been beating himself up over that, all might be well. Odd and extremely uncomfortable but better, at least. Yet Dick’s problem was that losing Jason for a second time had gone and broken his heart, and seeing him kiss another man - no matter the cause - could do nothing but take the jagged edges of his heart and mash them together.

Understanding Tim’s good intentions couldn’t stop his heartbreak from showing all over his face. It was that Tim reacted to, looking up at Dick with a worried expression as Dick stood and moved past him.

“Dick? Dick, wait-”

“It’s fine,” Dick ground out, wanting nothing more than to be anywhere else. “You’re right. The Ivy incident is over. I just gotta’ - there’s something I have to…” He trailed off, and out of the corner of his eye he could just make out Tim’s stricken expression. Oh god. Tim was going to know everything now. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I can’t right now. I just - tomorrow. And don’t show that tape to Bruce.”

Dick escaped while Tim’s mind boggled at the thought of showing Bruce the tape of his second son making out with a minor villain. Dick knew it wasn’t fair to run off like that, but neither was it fair for Tim to show him the object of his affections in that sort of situation after a solid month of no contact. Especially when Dick was willing to bet Tim had a fairly good idea of what had gone down a month ago. The kid wasn’t called Boy Wonder for a reason, and that reason was Tim’s freakish ability to know just about everything for just about everyone.

He jogged across the street at a lull in the traffic, sliding his key card into his apartment building’s security mount. He nodded at the middle aged woman and her daughter that walked out just as he walked in. What would fix him now was flying, or taking down a thug or two on patrol. Yet it was still hours away from dusk. He’d have to wait, putting off gratification while letting his pain stew. First things first, he’d change into something a little more comfortable, then he’d put on the TV just for some background noise - his neighbors would be less suspicious hearing the sounds of a muffled tv playing all night, after all. Then maybe he could cook something while he waited. Alfred had been trying to teach him simple things so that he didn’t develop diabetes by the time he was 40. Dick had argued a diet of sugared cereal was the least of his worries with the life he lead, but Alfred had been unamused.

Dick fumbled with his keys, trying to think of anything and everything that didn’t relate to Jason fucking Todd. Yeah, cooking was good. He could boil a pot of noodles and fry some chicken, easy. Maybe even whip up some of that cheese sauce Roy had tried to teach him once. It couldn’t be _that_ hard, not when Jason had taught _Roy_ how to make it -

Dick gave up on his keys and laid his head against his apartment door. Here he was again, back to Jason. Sorrow bloomed like black roses inside of him, and his plans for the immediate future changed. First, TV. Then he was going to lock himself in his bedroom and rail, weep, and carry on like a child.

He let himself in and locked the door behind him before he realized that someone else was in the room with him. Dick spun, expecting a wide variety of people ranging from Slade Wilson to Bruce, but the scent of eucalyptus cued him in the moment before he caught sight of the intruder. Jason was sitting on his couch with his boots propped up on Dick’s (admittedly dirty) coffee table, although he slowly stood when Dick stood there, goggling at him. In that initial moment, Dick was almost as shocked by Jason in civilian clothing and no domino as he was by his presence. If anything, he’d expected an interaction with Red Hood during their month apart. Yet here he was, sans hood and killing intent, standing in Dick’s living room.

He was also staring at Dick with an odd, disassociated expression, and if Dick had been a little less surprised, he might have wondered what that was all about. As it was the entire situation felt dreamlike and surreal to him, and this clashed painfully with the beat of his heart, shaking through his entire body like he was a bass drum.

He knew he should say something, else Jason would do it for him. Yet for a moment longer they simply stood there, staring at each other. Then, as if pulled from invisible strings, Dick took one step closer to Jason. Then another. He was halfway through taking his third before Jason took a step back and broke the silence.

“Not staying long, Dickie. Just had to - just wanted to make sure you knew where we stood. Replacement showed you the video?”

Dick nodded, and he was surprised his head didn’t bobble off his neck. It felt as if all the blood had drained down from his body. Had Jason shot him? It felt like he had.

“Ok, well. Just uh, wanted to apologize for leading you on, I guess. Kinda’ awkward, but it’s just another thing to put behind us. No hard feelings, yeah? Yeah. Good. I’ll uh, see ya’ around then-”

A small, logical part of Dick’s brain attempted to point out that Jason never, ever apologized, not even when there was no conceivable way to argue that whatever happened was _not_ his fault. Yet that voice was swamped by the raving madman who had shacked up in Dick’s brain, who demanded for Dick to exact pain in equal measure. Jason could blithely stick his tongue down a villain’s throat and yet couldn’t do the same for him? Oh no. Oh _fucking_ no. That was all kinds of unacceptable, and Dick wasn’t going to stand for it one moment longer.

Yet Jason had the strategic advantage, and if Dick rushed him he would take off through the window, leaving his heart in tatters and shards of glass all over his living room floor. So Dick hung his head and exhaled sharply, presenting the picture of a defeated man. It was enough for Jason to drop his guard and even take a step closer, wincing with concern.

“Hey. _Hey._ Don’t fuckin’ cry, ok?”

Foolishly Jason had taken another step, and now they were within five feet of each other. It was more than close enough for Dick to take him down. He folded even further in on himself before uncoiling all his energy like a spring, and tackled his younger brother to the floor.

“What the- _Dick!”_

Beneath him Jason struggled, but Dick knew exactly how to keep him down. He clung to him like he had in his kitchen, stretching his neck back so that Jason couldn’t headbutt him again. Yet that had the additional benefit of letting Jason see his expression, and whatever he saw there had him abruptly stop fighting, and a nervous expression skittered across his face. “Dick? What the hell, man?”

“I saw the tape, Jason.” Every word was glacial and clear, and the sheer rage in his tone made Jason’s pupils contract. “I saw how easy it was. You made him want you so badly. He couldn’t think of anything but you, could he?”

Jason swallowed, but Dick couldn’t tell whether it was from fear or from something else. He wasn’t sure what he wanted it to be. Being this close to Jason was confusing, and the desire that had haunted him for the past month was cutting through it, making it hard to decide.

Something in Jason’s expression hardened. “That’s his damn problem. I wasn’t thinking about him.”

That brought Dick’s rage back to the fore. “No, I bet you weren’t, were you. Did you care about how much he wanted you? Did you care at all about how badly you fucking hurt him?”

Jason seemed to realize that they weren’t talking about the mob boss anymore at the precise moment Dick did. “ _Shit._ Dick, this isn’t about you. It’s not the same thing. With you it was...different.”

Dick blinked rapidly to keep his tears behind his eyelids. They felt scalding, and for a moment he thought about letting them fall and burn Jason’s stupid, perfect face. “Really? I don’t see a difference. We’re both bad ideas, and totally inappropriate partners, and people that in the end, you don’t give two shits about.” Just saying it broke his heart, but gave him an idea too. It was a bad idea, probably the terrible one, but there was no dislodging him from seeing it completed. Its completion would likely leave him devastated. Yet while he could make Jason his, he would do it. He had to at least try. “So here’s an idea, Jason. If you can do that kind of thing with mob bosses, you can probably do it with me too, yeah?”

He let his proposition hang in the air and watched Jason freeze, trapping his thoughts before they could make themselves obvious on his face. “So let me get this straight: you want me to seduce you while Replacement tapes it...so we can show it off to Bats and end your career as Nightwing? Tempting, but not something I could follow through on, sorry.”

“ _That’s not what I meant, Jason._ ” Dick was at the end of his rope and he could do nothing but whisper it, feeling a hell of a lot like giving up. Yet it made Jason shiver, and suddenly he was back in the game. Ok, so now might not be the time for Jason to seduce him, especially not with that segue. That didn’t mean that Dick couldn’t try seducing _him._ He didn’t have to relinquish any of his anger or his lust - he could use them both to fuel this experience, and make it something that would haunt Jason for _years_ to come. “But we already know you’re an idiot. I’ll just have toshowyou what I mean. How’s that sound?”

Jason’s eyes widened. “Like a bad idea. The worst idea. Dick, we can’t- _ngh.”_

Dick had leaned down at the beginning of his protestations and lightly bit down on his neck, just above the juncture of where it met his shoulder. He was just as sensitive here as Dick had remembered, and clearly responded well to a little pain from the get go. Dick shifted slightly so that the beginnings of Jason’s erection pressed against his thigh, and continued to suckle on Jason’s neck.

“Nope. No, Dick. This is a bad id- _oh fuck._ Dick, I’m serious. This is- _ungh. Dick.”_ Jason was muttering but Dick paid him no heed, especially when his protestations were peppered with little groans and shaky inhalations of breath. This was the first time he’d held power over his desires for more than a month now, and he wasn’t relinquishing his hold so easily. Besides, if Jason wanted him to stop, he’d stop him.

He licked Jason’s jawbone, tongue sliding roughly over his stubble. That of all things made Jason moan outright, and Dick chanced a look down at Jason’s face. He was without question aroused, with eyes more black than green, and a hazy expression that he tried to hide when he realized Dick was watching him.

It was that which decided Dick. “Jason,” he murmured as he leaned down just a touch. They were close enough that he could feel Jason’s little exhalations of breath, and the scent of eucalyptus. “I’m going to kiss you now. And if you want me to stop - _really_ want me to stop - you won’t kiss me back.”

…

…

...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Dick was a major proponent of cuddle time, and he could only see positives in bringing the light of cuddles into Jason’s previously cuddle-free existence.” This was my favorite sentence of the entire fic. I may have written all this for this sentence alone. Cuddles for everyone!
> 
> Next up - Last chapter! You know what that means…NSFW time, ladies and gents! (Or, Jason succumbs in more ways than one, Dick gains the incentive to learn a new language, and Tim...well. Tim.)


	7. Jason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW time, ladies and gents. So angle those cubicle computers and don't let the bossman/lady see ;)

There was a corner of hell reserved for people in his situation, Jason was pretty sure. If he had to guess, it would look a lot like Gotham at its worst. Or it would look exactly how it currently did, with Dick Grayson on top of him and being unable to do a goddamned thing about it. Or at least the goddamned _right_ thing. Because just like old times his body had gone and betrayed him, and all he wanted to do was submit.

_Impress me, Jason. Do the right thing._

It all sounded so easy when Babs had admonished him, but now that Dick was actually leaning in it was next to impossible. Especially with the wet eyes and piercing stare. Jason had clearly miscalculated in his plan to disgust Dick with that tape. Somehow it had brought Dick to a frothing, sexy rage, and all Jason could do was resign himself to hell because he was clearly not good enough to stop him.

Dick’s lips touched down, pressing down but not parting. Jason kept himself perfectly still, holding on for a moment longer. Yet he couldn’t help himself when Dick pulled back. His lips were dry, and he reflexively wet them. Dick didn’t miss the motion. His attention dropped down to Jason’s mouth and that was when Jason felt the flames of hell flicker at his back. Oh, yeah. He was fucked. Perhaps literally, if the evening was going the way he now really, really wanted it to.

“Just admit it, Jason,” Dick whispered. He brushed his mouth against his one more time, yet pulled back before Jason could do anything other than swallow thickly. “You have before. What was it you said? You could get hard for me because you want me?”

One moment of ill-timed honesty, and Dick was never going to let it go. And just where was Barbara now, huh? She’d stopped them before, what the hell was she waiting for now?

Unless...unless she had kept her promise not to bug Dick’s apartment. Replacement had mentioned something about that, during their early days of working together. Jason hadn’t been interested then so he hadn’t paid too much attention. Now he was kicking himself. Had she, or hadn’t she? If she wasn’t listening now…

She’d find out. Eventually. But until then? Fuck. _Fuck._ Jason wanted him so badly. Just once, he assured himself. Just one time experiencing Dick’s affections, to be cared for and loved so incandescently, and then he’d go. He’d really run this time, so fast and so far that no one would catch him. He’d hate himself tomorrow, sure, but he already hated himself now. This way he’d have something to cleave to, and when he disappeared Dick would finally get the picture that he was a bad fucking dude and to leave him alone.

With his line of work, there was a decent chance he’d die before Babs could get her claws on him, anyway. Yet the thought of dying now with only a taste of Dick was somehow completely unacceptable.

“ _Dick.”_ He let it hang there, throaty and telling. He wouldn’t give him anymore than that. With how tightly they were strung, however, it should be more than enough.

For a moment it looked like it was. Dick dipped down quickly, yet paused the moment before they kissed. Jason exhaled in a rush through his nose, and did his best not to shut his eyes and tilt up. He had _some_ morals, after all, and if Dick wanted him, Dick had to fucking earn him.

“Tell me, Jason.” Dick leaned past his mouth and trailed a line of kisses to his earlobe. When he took it into his mouth and sucked Jason nearly bucked off the floor. His voice was so low and throaty next to his ear, and every syllable sent a line of fire directly to his cock. “ _Tell me._ Tell me that you want me. Tell me that you missed me. Tell me that it meant something. Then I’ll kiss you, baby. I’ll give you anything. Everything. Just tell me. _Tell me.”_

Jason had died and clawed himself from the grave; emerged from the Lazarus Pit and retained his sense of self; survived Talia al Ghul and triumphed over All Caste, and planned on spending the rest of his life clearing the world of equally dangerous evils. Yet he was not strong enough to deny Richard Grayson when he spoke in that tone of voice. Anger, desire, and helplessness warred within him, and had him spitting out something that his sense of self-preservation would kill him for later.

“You fucking idiot. Why the hell do you think I stayed the fuck away from you? Of course I fucking want you! You fucking upended my life and now I can’t fucking get it back together and fuck, can you not just take the goddamned hint and kiss me already?”

It was by no means Jason’s most eloquent moment but it did the trick. Something in Jason’s cursing and obvious distress must have gotten through to Dick as his eyes widened and his expression softened. Great. Now he knew way more than Jason wanted him to, but at least he was leaning back in -

Oh god. Babs was totally right. Dick kissed like he was stone cold in love with you, and there was nothing Jason could do to protect his heart against a kiss like that. There was no tongue, no teeth, yet every moment was breathless and deep. He groaned and the battle was over. He kissed him back as best he could, tongue slipping against Dick’s in an effort to win back some of the control he’d so easily surrendered.

The action made Dick shudder against him, and suddenly Jason found himself shifting upwards, mouth attached to Dick’s neck. He’d already lost, right? So he could lose as badly as he could, taking as much as he wanted until he had to pay for it. He bit down lightly at Dick’s collarbone, swathing it with his tongue afterwards. God, Dickie tasted good. And from experience, Jason remembered just how good he tasted all over. He wanted him again - wanted his mouth all over him, like before - but this time, with his blood running hot and madness seeping upwards from his cock to his brain, he want something else too. He had already admitted that Dick meant something more than his average sexual partner; so would it be so terrible to give him a little more control than what he usually allowed his other partners? This was just a moment of madness, Jason knew better than to expect something long lasting, even if it was coming from hugs-and-kisses Dick Grayson. So if he wanted all of Dick - everything that Dick had to offer - he was going to have to ask for it.

Besides, Dick was totally inexperienced when it came to men. Probably wouldn’t enjoy himself too much if he bottomed the first time. The idea of being his first man appealed to Jason, nearly as much as the thought of taking Dick himself. And maybe if all went well, there’d be time for them to switch things up later. Yeah, he could do this. It was only a little alarming how easy it was to offer himself up, seeing as how he sometimes got a little too emotionally invested when he was the one being fucked...

Not the time worry about that. Now was the time to convince Dick to fuck him, and any worries he’d have about the fragility of his relationship with Dick would have to wait for tomorrow.

Jason pulled Dick’s head up for a searing, mind-numbing kiss, while his other hand reached down to divest Dick of his garish casual wear. Dick recognized the urgency of the moment and assisted Jason with his own clothes, pulling away to mumble against Jason’s mouth when his scars came into view.

“Goddamn, Little Wing. I’m gonna’ kiss you all over. Every scar, every burn - I’m gonna’ show you how much you mean to me. How much I missed you. _Jason.”_

Jason swallowed his heart back down, willing it to stay down in his chest where it belonged. He didn’t know if Dick was obliquely referencing his time dead, or the past month. He wasn’t sure he needed to know at the moment - the power of Dick’s sentiment was more than enough. Especially when Dick made good on his promise, tongue lapping over all his glossy scars and mottled burn marks, sucking at the healthy skin in between. It was odd and not a little terrifying to be loved like this; cared for so openly and deeply. It did things to him and his heart that he wasn’t prepared to admit.

He had to stop Dick before his meandering path down to his cock became obvious, however. Not that Jason didn’t want his mouth on him, but this was the most emotionally charged sexual encounter he’d ever had, and he didn’t want to shorten it by coming embarrassingly quickly. Besides, his climax would be ten times better if he came with Dick inside of him. So instead of letting Dick suckle him, he turning over onto his hands and knees, arching his back as if to show off his scars.

Not for the first time, his action stunned Dick. “Jason - are you…? Are you sure?”

Jason glanced back over his shoulder and raised his eyebrows. “Do you not want to?”

Dick swallowed and leant in to press a lingering, sucking kiss on Jason’s hip. “No, I - I do. Shit. I _really_ do. I just...I’ve not...I’m not all that experienced with _this_.”

So Dickie had never gotten anal? Somehow, Jason was surprised. Then he remembered what he knew of Barbara’s temperament and Kori’s physiology, and stopped being so. “I’ll show you what to do. You’re gonna’ like it, Dickiebird.” And then, with a slow, dangerous smile, “Hell, when you see how much _I_ like it, you may just want to switch.”

Dick laughed, a nervous little huff of laughter as he squeezed and kneaded Jason’s ass. “Yeah, well, we’ll see about that. Damn. That probably shouldn’t sound as good as it does, should it?”

Jason’s only answer was to let his shark smile grow another inch and reach for his jacket. He carried little pouches of petroleum jelly with him to literally grease his way out of tight situations while fighting crime, but could be used for less noble purposes as well. They would come in perfectly now. He reared up so that both hands were free to open the pouch and Dick was suddenly right there, pressing in tightly at his back, licking the shell of his ear and making Jason shiver.

“I got it, baby. Lean back down - yeah, just like that. Yeah, spread your legs just a little more.” Jason handed over the packet with no fuss, intent on not devolving into a shivering mess when Dick began licking the back of his neck. He may have shivered just a little when Dick leaned back - but hey, it was kind of cold in his apartment. Then he breathed deeply, anticipation building for the touch of Dick’s hands against him-

What he had _not_ expected was for his cock to be engulfed into Dick’s mouth without warning. The damn acrobat had twisted and shimmied through his legs and wrapped his lips around his cock when Jason had been thinking, and he nearly thrust clean down Dick’s throat with surprise. He moaned embarrassingly loudly as Dick bobbed up, locking his hips into place so that he didn’t choke Dick with a too-deep thrust. He may have gasped out his name, too, but he wouldn’t remember that later - all he could focus on was the unexpected angle, Dick’s enthusiasm, and how easy it would be to fuck his face into the floor.

“Oh god. _Dick._ Oh-” Dick’s tongue felt like it was everywhere, even though there was only about 8 inches or so for it to lathe. Yet it was all too much, and Jason could feel the familiar thrumming that signalled his orgasm. He jerked his hips back before Dick could reach to bring him back down, rearing back so that he could fumble for the unopened packet of jelly. Now he was straddling Dick, who looked up at him with a little pout on his face, emphasising his red, swollen lips. Jason licked his in response and leaned down to kiss him.

He balanced on his elbows, opening the packet and emptying a good amount of its contents into one hand. Dick wasn’t helping at all, running his hands up and down his body and keening like girl - goddamn, but Jason was going to fuck him hard later. Tonight. Right after this, most likely. First, however, he had to show Dickiebird how it was done. So without breaking the kiss he reached back and rubbed the jelly against the puckered hole between his cheeks, sliding in two fingers and scissoring himself open. He had to lean forward and prop himself on a hand - the angle was harsh and he wasn’t quite as flexible as Dick, after all - and Dick took advantage of his preoccupation by pumping his cock slowly. Jason groaned, but thankfully Dick seemed to have gotten the point and kept his grip too gentle to push Jason over the edge.

Yet the added touch made Jason impatient, and the sooner Dick fucked him, the sooner he could maybe keep his heart from swelling right out of his chest. With one last thrust he removed his fingers, wiping them on his discarded pants. Then he reached for the jelly packet again, rubbing the rest of it over Dick’s cock. He swallowed a grin at Dick’s moan, suspecting that Dick would be more verbally appreciative of what came next.

Jason leaned down again, not quite kissing Dick, but adjusting himself so that the angle of penetration wouldn’t be too deep initially. From a physical standpoint Jason liked to be fucked almost as much as he liked to fuck, but it had been a while. Besides, something about taking his time with Dick appealed to him, whereas with all his previous male partners he had been more concerned with getting in and getting off as quickly as possible. Just this once he wanted to take things nice and slow, and face to face sex would ensure he could see and remember all of Dick’s expressions when he fucked himself on his cock…

Jason let his weight guide him, and the head of Dick’s cock slipped inside of him. He winced and sucked in a breath, but kept the same slow pace as he sank down, taking him inside inch by inch. Dick was thicker than he’d remembered, but the expression of strained bliss on his face was worth Jason’s discomfort. He raised up a little before inching further down, and Dick shuddered, clawing the carpet to keep from thrusting up.

Dick was just about deep enough to nudge up and his his prostate, and soon Jason was going to demand that he did just that. But before that, even if just for a moment, Jason wanted to look at Dick. He’d known Dick was beautiful in an abstract sense, and since their interlude on the rooftop had learned to desire him as well - but he’d never _understood_ Dick’s beauty, never known it in his bones until his entire being shook with conviction. He was understanding it now, just as he sank down to the hilt, every inch of Dick inside of him, he knew: _this_ was something more than just lust, or even the best fuck of his life. _This_ may be something worth fighting for. _This_ was something so alien and strange and yet integral to his well-being that if he let it, it could change his life in ways that not even death could do.

Jason closed his eyes, reeling in the realization. Yet just then Dick could not longer take it and thrust up, just enough to hit his prostate. Jason came hurtling back down to earth, grinding his hips down before pulling back and slamming home, impaling himself with enough force to shake the moment from his mind. There would be time to lose himself in his own head later. Now was the time to lose himself in Dick.

The two men moved together in a rhythm born of their years of fighting with and against each other, muscular bodies complementing each other in ways that neither could replicate with anyone else. Dick strained against Jason’s bulk, his lithe grace pinned beneath the increasing pace of Jason’s hips. He wanted to kiss but Jason wanted to watch - he wanted to burn the memory of Dick coming apart underneath him into his memory. He only capitulated when Dick fisted a hand around his cock while pulling on his hair with the other hand, begging him all the while. “Jason. C’mere. Oh god, please. I need to - need to kiss you. Please just - Little Wing, c’mon…”

Jason swallowed a huff of laughter at the use of his old nickname in the throes of sex. Yet the plea unstrung something in his chest, and even though he was closer to his own orgasm than he’d like he leant down and opened his mouth against Dick’s. The kiss was wet and sloppy, more a comforting notion than one of finesse. Yet it connected them in a way that sex alone could not do, and just as Jason’s climax shot through his loins, leaving ropes of cum across Dick’s abdomen, he groaned the inevitable against Dick’s lips.

“ _As tave myliu.”_

Although Dick couldn’t understand Lithuanian - damn, Jason _hoped_ he didn’t understand Lithuanian - perhaps some of the sentiment was obvious, as it seemed to spark Dick’s own orgasm. Four more thrusts and his rhythm suddenly became erratic, pushing in as deep as he could, tilting his head back and calling out Jason’s name. Then there was warm, pulsing heat inside of him, and while Jason didn’t envy himself the coming cleanup, the annoyance was replaced in favor of the revelation that took hold of him when he looked at Dick’s expression in the afterglow: all his previous efforts had been in vain and for good reason, as there was simply no way to outrun _this._

Dick’s hands against his face woke him from his reverie. Only when he opened them did he realize his eyes had momentarily fluttered closed. Dick stared up at him, blue eyes sparkling with a mixture of awe and trepidation. Jason stared him right down, only vaguely worried about what his eyes may be saying in return.

It must not have been anything too telling, however, as Dick's hazy smile grew a little less searching and a little more natural. "We're using condoms next time, Jaybird," he informed him gravely, as if that was crux of their coupling.

Jason snorted in amusement, surprised by Dick’s simple observation. “Yeah, because that’s what’s important here - safe sex, rather than what we just did.” Slowly he pulled himself up and off Dick, flexing muscles to keep everything where it needed to be, rather than Dick’s champagne colored carpet. “Excuse me for a sec.”

Dick nodded, and Jason toddled off to the bathroom. He relieved himself in more ways than one, still reeling from not just the physical aspect of the sex, but also the emotional. The worst of it wasn’t the promise he had muttered against Dick’s mouth when he’d come - feelings were feelings, and even if this one had gone and smacked him upside the head, that didn’t mean he was going to deny it. What he chose to do about it was another thing, however, and the epiphany he’d undergone during Dick’s afterglow was shaking. He couldn’t _choose_ this. He was the Red fucking Hood, for chrissake! So even if leaving felt like the wrong thing to do it would be even worse to stay. He’d just have to unlearn whatever Dick had taught him. He’d just have to forget-

“Hey, Jason?” Dick interrupted his train of thought by sauntering into the bathroom without a stitch of clothing on. Jason glanced over from the mirror, willing his body to remain staunchly unappreciative.

“Yeah?”

Dick couldn’t have missed the decision in his gaze or the tone of his voice. He wasn’t disheartened. If anything, his next step was slightly more sinuous and the look he shot up at Jason more sultry. He swallowed, and then internally kicked himself for doing so as Dick watched his adam’s apple bob with a predatory delight. “I’m dirty.”

“I noticed,” Jason offered, feeling slightly more like himself when he was running his mouth.

Dick smirked. “Oh, hush. You’re dirty too, you know.” His eyes cut to the shower and he stepped close enough to Jason so that their bodies were a hair from touching, and Jason suddenly found the countertop absolutely fascinating. “We should do something about that.”

Jason tore his gaze from the countertop to Dick, who was now looking up at him with barely veiled anxiety. He had probably come into the bathroom expecting Jason to be gone, or to run out of here with a smart-mouthed comment. He suddenly had the urge to prove Dick wrong - make him as off kilter as he was.

He also really, really did not want to leave. Not before he topped, anyway.

Jason smiled a slow, dangerous grin, and a shot of happiness went straight to his heart when Dick’s eyes lit up with something like hope. _Just a little more_ , he promised himself. _Just a little more, and then I’ll go._

“Ladies first, Dickie.”

…

…

…

…

…

Several blocks away, in an apartment paid for with money that even Bruce couldn’t track, Tim Drake slowly shut his laptop, wishing that he hadn’t been quite so assiduous in his effort to monitor his brothers’ reunion. For one thing, he now was burdened with the knowledge of knowing exactly what his older brothers looked like when they climaxed. For another, that they were painfully in love with each other - not that they would ever admit it. And last but not least, he was sporting the most serious erection of his young life.

Yet Tim was an incredibly practical young man, and knew that there was only solution for all this. Get rid of the tape, retrieve and destroy the bugs in Dick’s apartment, and never mention it ever again.

But first...he might watch it one more time.

Just for fun.

_(No one would ever know.)_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End! (For now)
> 
> Oh, you already know what it means. But go look up the Lithuanian anyway, just to be safe… (¬‿¬)
> 
>  
> 
> Jason and Dick’s adventures will make minor appearances in the second installment, which takes place 3 years after this, and will focus on Tim. It will also include more Ex-Robin Club Bro Time. I love them, and make no apologies. (It's also only about 1/3 written, *cringes*)
> 
>  
> 
> 'Til next time!


End file.
